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Parent Emeritus
Bipolar adult son, is wanting to move back in.
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 741031" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>You do not want to add more mentally ill people to your family by forcing the girls and your spouse to possibly develop PTSD with your son in your house.</p><p></p><p>Your son has outside options. Many were mentioned. If he is violent even in a mental health hospital, just like prison, he will be dealt with harshly. Violence for any reason, including mental illness, is dealt with seriously.</p><p></p><p>Violece is seen as a reason to remove somebody from society. Your son was lucky that nobody contacted elder care for the beatings of grandma or he could have more time in prison than he did .if your son hurts your younger daughters the daughters can be removed from your home by CPS and he again could end up in prison only you could end up in trouble too gor not protecting the girls.</p><p></p><p>Sometimes we have to protect our dangerous adult kids from even getting into worse trouble. Finding outside services is aagood option but many choose to reject the rules then they live on the street. Would your son prefer the streets to possible prison and harming somebody in his family? He hasnt learned control yet. You dont know his whole story either. </p><p></p><p>There are many things our off the rails adults dont share. Maybe he is addicted to meth or heroin and this ramps up his violence. He may not have been able to use for three years but now he can. And may be.</p><p></p><p>Your son needs to be willing (the willing is important) to get extreme treatment possibly for life. In the meantime there are homes for the mentally ill. I know young people who live in them. But there are rules. No violence. Or you cant stay. Theres that pesky no violence rule again. It is everywhere.</p><p></p><p>Your son needs to commit to tratment outside of the house so as to not traumatize everyone else. He CAN find help and do it. There is nothing that says you cant meet with him seven nights a week for dinner at a crowded resteraunt and give him support. There are many places to see him without risking bringing him home.</p><p></p><p>In the meantime the rest of the family needs protection. Grandma may need a restraining order since he is back. </p><p></p><p>Most mentally ill people are not dangerous. There is an extra ooomph factor with your son. Please not only keep him from your family but be very careful when he is with you. Crowded places. Witnesses so he will behave. Never drive with him. This is a place you can REALLY get hurt...a car.</p><p></p><p>It will shock you how he can control his violence when strangers are watching in a restsurant, at the movies, in a very busy park or beach, in a department store etc. There are many places that are safe for you to see him. Most violence is domestic and takes place in the home. Ted Bundy never strangled anyone in a restaurant. Everyone can control violence when they have to.</p><p></p><p>Please stay safe. Others love and need you besides this son.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 741031, member: 1550"] You do not want to add more mentally ill people to your family by forcing the girls and your spouse to possibly develop PTSD with your son in your house. Your son has outside options. Many were mentioned. If he is violent even in a mental health hospital, just like prison, he will be dealt with harshly. Violence for any reason, including mental illness, is dealt with seriously. Violece is seen as a reason to remove somebody from society. Your son was lucky that nobody contacted elder care for the beatings of grandma or he could have more time in prison than he did .if your son hurts your younger daughters the daughters can be removed from your home by CPS and he again could end up in prison only you could end up in trouble too gor not protecting the girls. Sometimes we have to protect our dangerous adult kids from even getting into worse trouble. Finding outside services is aagood option but many choose to reject the rules then they live on the street. Would your son prefer the streets to possible prison and harming somebody in his family? He hasnt learned control yet. You dont know his whole story either. There are many things our off the rails adults dont share. Maybe he is addicted to meth or heroin and this ramps up his violence. He may not have been able to use for three years but now he can. And may be. Your son needs to be willing (the willing is important) to get extreme treatment possibly for life. In the meantime there are homes for the mentally ill. I know young people who live in them. But there are rules. No violence. Or you cant stay. Theres that pesky no violence rule again. It is everywhere. Your son needs to commit to tratment outside of the house so as to not traumatize everyone else. He CAN find help and do it. There is nothing that says you cant meet with him seven nights a week for dinner at a crowded resteraunt and give him support. There are many places to see him without risking bringing him home. In the meantime the rest of the family needs protection. Grandma may need a restraining order since he is back. Most mentally ill people are not dangerous. There is an extra ooomph factor with your son. Please not only keep him from your family but be very careful when he is with you. Crowded places. Witnesses so he will behave. Never drive with him. This is a place you can REALLY get hurt...a car. It will shock you how he can control his violence when strangers are watching in a restsurant, at the movies, in a very busy park or beach, in a department store etc. There are many places that are safe for you to see him. Most violence is domestic and takes place in the home. Ted Bundy never strangled anyone in a restaurant. Everyone can control violence when they have to. Please stay safe. Others love and need you besides this son. [/QUOTE]
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