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General Parenting
Bipolar daughter participation in sports, etc
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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 94304" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>It sounds like your positions are very adversarial. I think it goes beyond an IEP or 504.</p><p></p><p>I would approach it firmly but cooperatively. I like what you said about the need to deal with-your daughter in a respectful, professional manner. Use those words. Then say that you are doing your best to help your daughter deal with-things in a respectful manner and want her to respect the coach. That should help put the coach in your corner. I hate to sound manipulative, but you've got to work with people, not against them. </p><p>I'm not sure what is going on about ridiculing your daughter for calling you ... was it in the middle of a cheer class? IOW, something your daughter was supposed to resolve on her own? Perhaps you can discuss with-the coach specific ways in which to distance yourself and allow your daughter to make her own mistakes. Tell the coach you are willing to do that as long as you are assured that she is being properly taught and coached rather than ridiculed when she does make a mistake. (Eg in baseball, when a kid messes up a catch, the moms yell, "Good try. Shake it off!")</p><p>I would also be careful not to use the word "you" if you can help it ... it will put the coach on the defensive. Use as many objective phrases as you can.</p><p>It stands to reason that your daughter will be monitored or judged in cheer, on her movements, coordination, voice, etc., so you want this to be an educational experience. I'd tell the coach that, too.</p><p></p><p>The main question for me would be, if the coach thinks your daughter needs Tough Love, can your daughter hold herself together in Cheer with-o your intervention or will she quit? If the coach believes that Tough Love means ridicule she is mistaken. It means clear boundaries and rules. And sticking to them.</p><p></p><p>Others here can give you info on a 504 or IEP.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 94304, member: 3419"] It sounds like your positions are very adversarial. I think it goes beyond an IEP or 504. I would approach it firmly but cooperatively. I like what you said about the need to deal with-your daughter in a respectful, professional manner. Use those words. Then say that you are doing your best to help your daughter deal with-things in a respectful manner and want her to respect the coach. That should help put the coach in your corner. I hate to sound manipulative, but you've got to work with people, not against them. I'm not sure what is going on about ridiculing your daughter for calling you ... was it in the middle of a cheer class? IOW, something your daughter was supposed to resolve on her own? Perhaps you can discuss with-the coach specific ways in which to distance yourself and allow your daughter to make her own mistakes. Tell the coach you are willing to do that as long as you are assured that she is being properly taught and coached rather than ridiculed when she does make a mistake. (Eg in baseball, when a kid messes up a catch, the moms yell, "Good try. Shake it off!") I would also be careful not to use the word "you" if you can help it ... it will put the coach on the defensive. Use as many objective phrases as you can. It stands to reason that your daughter will be monitored or judged in cheer, on her movements, coordination, voice, etc., so you want this to be an educational experience. I'd tell the coach that, too. The main question for me would be, if the coach thinks your daughter needs Tough Love, can your daughter hold herself together in Cheer with-o your intervention or will she quit? If the coach believes that Tough Love means ridicule she is mistaken. It means clear boundaries and rules. And sticking to them. Others here can give you info on a 504 or IEP. [/QUOTE]
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