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General Parenting
Bipolar son about to turn 18
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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 103556" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>Basic rule, if you don't mean it or don't think you can follow through, don't say it.</p><p></p><p>It depends on the severity of the BiPolar (BP) as whether or not he can function. If medications work for him, then the answer is pretty simple -- he can function but chooses not to since he will only take his medications when convenient to him. Self-medicating is not the answer.</p><p></p><p>It is hard to kick your child to the curb. My daughter was given choices -- either do X or leave. Each time, she opted to leave. Twice I let her back in because she was on the verge of being homeless. The third time, I let her become homeless. I did in fact go get her when I felt she had hit her absolute bottom. Since then, she hasn't been perfect but things have been so much better!</p><p></p><p>You do have to stay strong and be brave. Don't let past mistakes by you and your guilt or his choices in how he treats his illness be the deciding factors. The goal is to get him to understand that he can't abuse your love and his home. If he truly wants to live there, he will have to follow the rules. If he chooses not to, he will have to leave. If he refuses to leave, find a way to get him out. Change the locks if necessary. </p><p></p><p>Once you get him out the door, don't let him back in because you feel sorry for him or because the guilt is overwhelming. On my daughter's third trip out the door, I actually had notes all over the house: do what is right for her, not what you want! I wanted to let her come home. I wanted to be her mommy. She needed me to be strong enough to force her to grow up. For some of our kids, the only way they will grow up is to hit bottom.</p><p></p><p>I'm sorry. I know how hard this is.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 103556, member: 3626"] Basic rule, if you don't mean it or don't think you can follow through, don't say it. It depends on the severity of the BiPolar (BP) as whether or not he can function. If medications work for him, then the answer is pretty simple -- he can function but chooses not to since he will only take his medications when convenient to him. Self-medicating is not the answer. It is hard to kick your child to the curb. My daughter was given choices -- either do X or leave. Each time, she opted to leave. Twice I let her back in because she was on the verge of being homeless. The third time, I let her become homeless. I did in fact go get her when I felt she had hit her absolute bottom. Since then, she hasn't been perfect but things have been so much better! You do have to stay strong and be brave. Don't let past mistakes by you and your guilt or his choices in how he treats his illness be the deciding factors. The goal is to get him to understand that he can't abuse your love and his home. If he truly wants to live there, he will have to follow the rules. If he chooses not to, he will have to leave. If he refuses to leave, find a way to get him out. Change the locks if necessary. Once you get him out the door, don't let him back in because you feel sorry for him or because the guilt is overwhelming. On my daughter's third trip out the door, I actually had notes all over the house: do what is right for her, not what you want! I wanted to let her come home. I wanted to be her mommy. She needed me to be strong enough to force her to grow up. For some of our kids, the only way they will grow up is to hit bottom. I'm sorry. I know how hard this is. [/QUOTE]
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Bipolar son about to turn 18
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