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Birthday Party Disaster
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember1" data-source="post: 752171" data-attributes="member: 23706"><p>I think the whole issue is about not parenting our adult kids. It does not work or serve the adult child. Or us. If they look bad, they do. I would never have chided her in public. If others did then that was on them. I suppose it is hard in an outspoken family. My family and my husband's are calm and don't make scenes.</p><p></p><p>I would not have helped Daughter with the balloons. No way. Not my responsibility. If she wanted them blown up, stores will fill them for a dime. I have stopped parenting any of my adult kids. Yes, it is hard. But I feel it is best for all.</p><p></p><p>I think it is up to you and your husband whether your daughter lives with you or not. My daughter can never live with us again.</p><p></p><p> Your daughter is not responsible and won't work. That is a bad sign for later. If she is also rude that in my opinion is reason to make her leave. But I do not feel that your husband acted appropriately. I mean no offense, but I can't approve of his behavior. He started the negative vibe that in my opinion he should have overlooked. I am guessing he is not her father. I would have been appalled at how he behaved but also at how your mother behaved and daughter. Your mother sounds controlling.</p><p></p><p>You can choose to break the cycle of the family way. Just refuse to buy into it. You do not have to be a part of it or respond to bad behavior. You may need distance.</p><p></p><p>I personally would not give up my soul to be beholden to an abusive child in order to see my grand. Theme grand can be removed from you by erratic adult kids even if you kiss their feet to have access to the baby. Some may do it.bi will not. This is up to you. In the end, it will be always up to your daughter.</p><p></p><p>No heroes at that party.</p><p></p><p>I do practice acceptance now, like Wise. I think her advice was the best. Accept the moment and enjoy what is.</p><p></p><p>A book "The Gift of Acceptance" by Daniel A. Miller plus Al Anon changed my life for the better. Maybe give it a read. The library should have it. I love it so much that I carry it with me in my purse.</p><p></p><p>This is going to die down. Nothing is so bad that it can't get better. I would sit on this for 48 hours before acting. But I do understand very clearly that your adult daughter may be best off not living with you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember1, post: 752171, member: 23706"] I think the whole issue is about not parenting our adult kids. It does not work or serve the adult child. Or us. If they look bad, they do. I would never have chided her in public. If others did then that was on them. I suppose it is hard in an outspoken family. My family and my husband's are calm and don't make scenes. I would not have helped Daughter with the balloons. No way. Not my responsibility. If she wanted them blown up, stores will fill them for a dime. I have stopped parenting any of my adult kids. Yes, it is hard. But I feel it is best for all. I think it is up to you and your husband whether your daughter lives with you or not. My daughter can never live with us again. Your daughter is not responsible and won't work. That is a bad sign for later. If she is also rude that in my opinion is reason to make her leave. But I do not feel that your husband acted appropriately. I mean no offense, but I can't approve of his behavior. He started the negative vibe that in my opinion he should have overlooked. I am guessing he is not her father. I would have been appalled at how he behaved but also at how your mother behaved and daughter. Your mother sounds controlling. You can choose to break the cycle of the family way. Just refuse to buy into it. You do not have to be a part of it or respond to bad behavior. You may need distance. I personally would not give up my soul to be beholden to an abusive child in order to see my grand. Theme grand can be removed from you by erratic adult kids even if you kiss their feet to have access to the baby. Some may do it.bi will not. This is up to you. In the end, it will be always up to your daughter. No heroes at that party. I do practice acceptance now, like Wise. I think her advice was the best. Accept the moment and enjoy what is. A book "The Gift of Acceptance" by Daniel A. Miller plus Al Anon changed my life for the better. Maybe give it a read. The library should have it. I love it so much that I carry it with me in my purse. This is going to die down. Nothing is so bad that it can't get better. I would sit on this for 48 hours before acting. But I do understand very clearly that your adult daughter may be best off not living with you. [/QUOTE]
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