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Birthday Party Disaster
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 752172" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>My response was based upon the daughter's conduct today. I don't recall that this daughter is abusive. From the signature she is irresponsible, with alcohol problems and possibly mental illness.</p><p></p><p>I think that we as parents have some responsibility to mentally ill adult children and to their children. Of course, abuse is another story.</p><p></p><p>The thing is this: adult children can always withdraw the grandchildren. They can always use the children as pawns. There is no indication at least in this post that this young mother is doing this. </p><p></p><p>What do we do as grandparents? Do we NOT love and engage with our grandchildren for fear that they will be withdrawn? Do we not help our vulnerable children...who may someday become abusive to us? For me, I would not want to be afraid to love, to guard against possible pain.</p><p></p><p>I don't think I will ever be a grandmother. Or I fear that I won't. My son has never been in a serious relationship and says he will never have children or marry. I have to take him at his word. It's not looking good for me. </p><p></p><p>I would have loved to have been a grandmother. It would be the fulfillment of my wildest dreams. I would love to be in Daisy's position. I would count my lucky stars. Her daughter sounds like a version of what my son is like. I would adore having the problems she's facing. Really. I would be afraid. But I would still want a grandchild to love.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 752172, member: 18958"] My response was based upon the daughter's conduct today. I don't recall that this daughter is abusive. From the signature she is irresponsible, with alcohol problems and possibly mental illness. I think that we as parents have some responsibility to mentally ill adult children and to their children. Of course, abuse is another story. The thing is this: adult children can always withdraw the grandchildren. They can always use the children as pawns. There is no indication at least in this post that this young mother is doing this. What do we do as grandparents? Do we NOT love and engage with our grandchildren for fear that they will be withdrawn? Do we not help our vulnerable children...who may someday become abusive to us? For me, I would not want to be afraid to love, to guard against possible pain. I don't think I will ever be a grandmother. Or I fear that I won't. My son has never been in a serious relationship and says he will never have children or marry. I have to take him at his word. It's not looking good for me. I would have loved to have been a grandmother. It would be the fulfillment of my wildest dreams. I would love to be in Daisy's position. I would count my lucky stars. Her daughter sounds like a version of what my son is like. I would adore having the problems she's facing. Really. I would be afraid. But I would still want a grandchild to love. [/QUOTE]
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