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Birthday Party Disaster
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<blockquote data-quote="WiseChoices" data-source="post: 752202" data-attributes="member: 24254"><p>As your husband attempted to parent your grown daughter , your Mother attempted to parent your husband . I agree that both of these incidents added to the disagreement. </p><p></p><p>I don't know that I would stop speaking to my Mother . I realize now with some recovery under my belt that my Mom and Dad did the best they could do with the tools they had at the time. And so did I when I raised my children. I made plenty of mistakes but if I had known better I would have done better. It is important to me today to show myself forgiveness and love and to treat others how I want to be treated.</p><p></p><p>When my Mom acts in ways that are unacceptable to me today, I let her know how I feel, what I need, and what I would like. I say what I mean, mean what I say, but don't say it meanly. By stopping to talk to her , nothing gets resolved , I harbor a big resentment which isn't good for me , it denies an improvement in the relationship, and it denies her the chance to learn about me and to change her behavior towards me if she so choses. It is an opportunity to show better tools and to teach (and practice) boundaries.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="WiseChoices, post: 752202, member: 24254"] As your husband attempted to parent your grown daughter , your Mother attempted to parent your husband . I agree that both of these incidents added to the disagreement. I don't know that I would stop speaking to my Mother . I realize now with some recovery under my belt that my Mom and Dad did the best they could do with the tools they had at the time. And so did I when I raised my children. I made plenty of mistakes but if I had known better I would have done better. It is important to me today to show myself forgiveness and love and to treat others how I want to be treated. When my Mom acts in ways that are unacceptable to me today, I let her know how I feel, what I need, and what I would like. I say what I mean, mean what I say, but don't say it meanly. By stopping to talk to her , nothing gets resolved , I harbor a big resentment which isn't good for me , it denies an improvement in the relationship, and it denies her the chance to learn about me and to change her behavior towards me if she so choses. It is an opportunity to show better tools and to teach (and practice) boundaries. [/QUOTE]
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