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bit confused on what to do about this one......
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<blockquote data-quote="svengandhi" data-source="post: 377502" data-attributes="member: 3493"><p>Has she ever been classified? If so, what was it? My difficult child started out with OHI, based on the 4 ear surgeries he had before K, and was switched to ED in 3rd grade. As I said before, he has school based anxiety disorder and a disorder of written expression (which the 5 he got on the AP European History test belies; however, he can not write about anything that requires insight into himself or sharing of himself or his feelings). He is in almost all honors and accelerated classes and is definitely not tanking academically, even though he is not doing as well as a child with his IQ and test scores should be. I spent an hour on the phone with his guidance counselor working around his schedule (he's a junior this year) so that he got the teachers he and I wanted for him. This was tough because there are only 2 sections in some classes because of the honors level. My philosophy is that the I in IEP means he gets a schedule that suits him to the extent possible. </p><p></p><p>I completely disagree that the law here on the Island means that she has to tank before she gets help. Help is not just academic assistance - help is those services which allow the child to access the academic program so that s/he can achieve at the highest possible level for them. If a child is capable of doing A or B work and they are producing merely passing work, they are not benefitting from the education being provided. An IEP doesn't guarantee straight A's, just a fair playing field. One of the hardest concepts for SDs to get is that FAIR is not always EQUAL. My dyslexic son (not difficult child) needs certain accommodations that non-dyslexic kids of the same IQ don't need. Giving those to him does not give him an unfair advantage, it merely levels the playing field. difficult child needs other things, like teachers who understand his quirkiness and will not penalize him for being himself. He doesn't need copies of class notes, like other boy does, or preferential seating, like my youngest, who has vision issues, does, but he does need something more inchoate.</p><p></p><p>Does your daughter respond well to counseling? Maybe a 1:1 at school or a circle of friends. My SD does the circle and they often work well for all kids involved. In my daughter's 4th grade class, there was one for an autistic boy. She sobbed when she wasn't chosen but the kids who were picked all had needs of their own. 9 years later, many of these keep in touch with the boy. One kid, who was a bully, came away from the experience very changed. He's become a real nice young man. Maybe pairing her with a buddy - even in grade 6 there are kids who are empathetic and nurturing and might be willing to be a buddy to your child, would help. If the school could find a buddy who shared an interest with difficult child and they could go to a club together, that might help.</p><p></p><p>Another thing is that she may not be able to function at school until her medication situation is stabilized. When difficult child was at his worst, in grade 6, we thought about a BOCES school with a DTP aspect to it. We visited the place. The program had built in family and individual psychiatric and counseling and would work on medication issues., including prescribing. Ultimately, we decided against it because difficult child doesn't need medications and because the academics were not at a high enough level for him. However, I know a number of kids who've gone there. Some have come back to district after being stabilized and others are continuing through BOCES for HS. My dyslexic son's best friend is going there this year for grade 9 (it's a 6-9 school). Maybe your county has a similar BOCES program?</p><p></p><p>I used to think that alternative schools were wrong and it was warehousing, etc. My oldest son would not have survived mainstream HS. After one year, he was suicidal and depressed. We moved him to a BOCES school for Aspie kids and he got a HS diploma and did a little bit of college. He's now working two jobs and waiting to get called for a civil service position with the state. I credit the alternative HS with saving him. He's a work in progress but still... </p><p></p><p>If I think of anything else, I'll let you know.</p><p></p><p>As for middle school, I specifically asked for him to be with 2 good friends. Unfortunately, all 3 were put into team Heck Hole and I wound up having difficult child moved out on threat of having one of his teachers arrested.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="svengandhi, post: 377502, member: 3493"] Has she ever been classified? If so, what was it? My difficult child started out with OHI, based on the 4 ear surgeries he had before K, and was switched to ED in 3rd grade. As I said before, he has school based anxiety disorder and a disorder of written expression (which the 5 he got on the AP European History test belies; however, he can not write about anything that requires insight into himself or sharing of himself or his feelings). He is in almost all honors and accelerated classes and is definitely not tanking academically, even though he is not doing as well as a child with his IQ and test scores should be. I spent an hour on the phone with his guidance counselor working around his schedule (he's a junior this year) so that he got the teachers he and I wanted for him. This was tough because there are only 2 sections in some classes because of the honors level. My philosophy is that the I in IEP means he gets a schedule that suits him to the extent possible. I completely disagree that the law here on the Island means that she has to tank before she gets help. Help is not just academic assistance - help is those services which allow the child to access the academic program so that s/he can achieve at the highest possible level for them. If a child is capable of doing A or B work and they are producing merely passing work, they are not benefitting from the education being provided. An IEP doesn't guarantee straight A's, just a fair playing field. One of the hardest concepts for SDs to get is that FAIR is not always EQUAL. My dyslexic son (not difficult child) needs certain accommodations that non-dyslexic kids of the same IQ don't need. Giving those to him does not give him an unfair advantage, it merely levels the playing field. difficult child needs other things, like teachers who understand his quirkiness and will not penalize him for being himself. He doesn't need copies of class notes, like other boy does, or preferential seating, like my youngest, who has vision issues, does, but he does need something more inchoate. Does your daughter respond well to counseling? Maybe a 1:1 at school or a circle of friends. My SD does the circle and they often work well for all kids involved. In my daughter's 4th grade class, there was one for an autistic boy. She sobbed when she wasn't chosen but the kids who were picked all had needs of their own. 9 years later, many of these keep in touch with the boy. One kid, who was a bully, came away from the experience very changed. He's become a real nice young man. Maybe pairing her with a buddy - even in grade 6 there are kids who are empathetic and nurturing and might be willing to be a buddy to your child, would help. If the school could find a buddy who shared an interest with difficult child and they could go to a club together, that might help. Another thing is that she may not be able to function at school until her medication situation is stabilized. When difficult child was at his worst, in grade 6, we thought about a BOCES school with a DTP aspect to it. We visited the place. The program had built in family and individual psychiatric and counseling and would work on medication issues., including prescribing. Ultimately, we decided against it because difficult child doesn't need medications and because the academics were not at a high enough level for him. However, I know a number of kids who've gone there. Some have come back to district after being stabilized and others are continuing through BOCES for HS. My dyslexic son's best friend is going there this year for grade 9 (it's a 6-9 school). Maybe your county has a similar BOCES program? I used to think that alternative schools were wrong and it was warehousing, etc. My oldest son would not have survived mainstream HS. After one year, he was suicidal and depressed. We moved him to a BOCES school for Aspie kids and he got a HS diploma and did a little bit of college. He's now working two jobs and waiting to get called for a civil service position with the state. I credit the alternative HS with saving him. He's a work in progress but still... If I think of anything else, I'll let you know. As for middle school, I specifically asked for him to be with 2 good friends. Unfortunately, all 3 were put into team Heck Hole and I wound up having difficult child moved out on threat of having one of his teachers arrested. [/QUOTE]
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