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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 330099" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Barbara, </p><p></p><p>I remember your story a little. I have one thought - and one thought only and my DF (dear fiance) said to tell you "He (your husband) didn't leave because of your son -he left because he wanted to or because he needed an excuse." I agree. His leaving had nothing to do with you being a failure, or your son being difficult. Other families suffer through and survive a LOT more difficult situations - </p><p></p><p>If you want to live with your son? Go get him, make it work. If your husband wants to be an ex husband? So BE it. His CHOICE. We all have choices to make. If he's telling you - CHOOSE between me or the kid? I wouldn't. Any man that tells you that isn't a family man. Plain and simple. These kids, our lives are difficult - and breaks are needed, but not ultimatums. Not to the extent he's having you make. </p><p></p><p>I'm sorry for what you are living through - but I'd have to say as a woman, sister and been there done that friend? Sounds like you're going to be better off with counseling to find your self-esteem, and staying away from men in general until you get your self-respect together and can draw a line in the sand for Barbara. Find out what YOU want out of life - not what pleases a man. FInd out what makes YOU happy, not what you can do to make a man happy. If you figure those things out? You'll be a very attractive person and will attract the right person for you. Promise. AND you'll BE happier in the long run because eventually your kids grow up, and have lives of their own and you are left with yourself and ? - ? has to be someone you want to be around for the rest of your life and his. </p><p></p><p>Use THIS opportunity to find YOUR happiness. YOU ARE WORTH EVERY SINGLE MINUTE you invest in YOURSELF. </p><p></p><p>Hugs</p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 330099, member: 4964"] Barbara, I remember your story a little. I have one thought - and one thought only and my DF (dear fiance) said to tell you "He (your husband) didn't leave because of your son -he left because he wanted to or because he needed an excuse." I agree. His leaving had nothing to do with you being a failure, or your son being difficult. Other families suffer through and survive a LOT more difficult situations - If you want to live with your son? Go get him, make it work. If your husband wants to be an ex husband? So BE it. His CHOICE. We all have choices to make. If he's telling you - CHOOSE between me or the kid? I wouldn't. Any man that tells you that isn't a family man. Plain and simple. These kids, our lives are difficult - and breaks are needed, but not ultimatums. Not to the extent he's having you make. I'm sorry for what you are living through - but I'd have to say as a woman, sister and been there done that friend? Sounds like you're going to be better off with counseling to find your self-esteem, and staying away from men in general until you get your self-respect together and can draw a line in the sand for Barbara. Find out what YOU want out of life - not what pleases a man. FInd out what makes YOU happy, not what you can do to make a man happy. If you figure those things out? You'll be a very attractive person and will attract the right person for you. Promise. AND you'll BE happier in the long run because eventually your kids grow up, and have lives of their own and you are left with yourself and ? - ? has to be someone you want to be around for the rest of your life and his. Use THIS opportunity to find YOUR happiness. YOU ARE WORTH EVERY SINGLE MINUTE you invest in YOURSELF. Hugs Star [/QUOTE]
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