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<blockquote data-quote="flutterby" data-source="post: 490784" data-attributes="member: 7083"><p>TeDo - if my daughter had her way in the past, she would have turned me in to CPS. Some of her reasons: she is treated like a slave (an example she gave therapist is that she had to turn the light off in my room - in the wee hours in the morning when she was sitting on my bed talking to me through an angst-thing (my term) and I was in bed because I couldn't stay awake any longer. She was asked to turn off the light as she walked out of the room.), I sometimes ask her to grab a soda for me when she is going into the kitchen already... I honestly can't remember them all, but they all follow the same theme. She would write pages - *pages* - about this petty koi and take it into therapist as proof of how horrible I am and of what she has to endure. It's ridiculous. So, yes, I completely understand the blame thing. </p><p></p><p>I am the only person in difficult child's life who has been there for her; the only person advocating for her, finding therapists and psychiatrists, fighting the school, helping her through 5 hour long panic attacks/meltdowns/whatever the crisis of the day is. But I am also somehow this monster who expects my child to help fold laundry, pick up after herself, and sometimes help me. This has seemed to get better over the last few months. Somewhere along the way she seemed to find some insight and empathy. I think it's just that our Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kids take longer to get there. For my daughter, at least, she is about 10 years behind emotionally vs chronologically. My daughter has also always had this victim mentality (which I can't stand in anyone, and then I was blessed with a child with it - it makes me want to scream), so that has added to it. </p><p></p><p>I finally made her write down the number to CPS and told her that I expected her to call them because I was tired of hearing it - in a moment where I had just had enough. She was very upset about that. It got to the point where I could barely stand to be around her - I was so angry with her. Resentful. I went through periods where I only talked to her when absolutely necessary. No more "good morning". I just couldn't do it. I was so angry with her over this that I couldn't stand it. </p><p></p><p>Thankfully, we've gotten past that. But it was incredibly difficult for a long time.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="flutterby, post: 490784, member: 7083"] TeDo - if my daughter had her way in the past, she would have turned me in to CPS. Some of her reasons: she is treated like a slave (an example she gave therapist is that she had to turn the light off in my room - in the wee hours in the morning when she was sitting on my bed talking to me through an angst-thing (my term) and I was in bed because I couldn't stay awake any longer. She was asked to turn off the light as she walked out of the room.), I sometimes ask her to grab a soda for me when she is going into the kitchen already... I honestly can't remember them all, but they all follow the same theme. She would write pages - *pages* - about this petty koi and take it into therapist as proof of how horrible I am and of what she has to endure. It's ridiculous. So, yes, I completely understand the blame thing. I am the only person in difficult child's life who has been there for her; the only person advocating for her, finding therapists and psychiatrists, fighting the school, helping her through 5 hour long panic attacks/meltdowns/whatever the crisis of the day is. But I am also somehow this monster who expects my child to help fold laundry, pick up after herself, and sometimes help me. This has seemed to get better over the last few months. Somewhere along the way she seemed to find some insight and empathy. I think it's just that our Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kids take longer to get there. For my daughter, at least, she is about 10 years behind emotionally vs chronologically. My daughter has also always had this victim mentality (which I can't stand in anyone, and then I was blessed with a child with it - it makes me want to scream), so that has added to it. I finally made her write down the number to CPS and told her that I expected her to call them because I was tired of hearing it - in a moment where I had just had enough. She was very upset about that. It got to the point where I could barely stand to be around her - I was so angry with her. Resentful. I went through periods where I only talked to her when absolutely necessary. No more "good morning". I just couldn't do it. I was so angry with her over this that I couldn't stand it. Thankfully, we've gotten past that. But it was incredibly difficult for a long time. [/QUOTE]
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