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blaming myself
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<blockquote data-quote="MrMike" data-source="post: 708917" data-attributes="member: 16687"><p>I agree whole-heartedly with Lil and others here. You're story I think is right at the heart of the detachment thing. You are only responsible for your actions. The other people in this story acted on their own and not because of anything you did. They are responsible for their own actions. </p><p></p><p>My advice (even though I have trouble following it sometimes <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> ) is to mentally carve out the type of environment you need to live in to be happy (being treated kindly and fairly, etc.) and insist that others in your house live that way or they are not welcome there. You have to establish your boundaries, otherwise you will be like an army fort with no walls or sentries, open to attack, vulnerable and insecure. </p><p></p><p>I guess what I am trying to learn is that I have the responsibility of defining my living space, and if I don't do that it is on me. But, if I can do that, what a great thing that is. I can decide how I will allow others to treat me. What a glorious thing really. I know I must do this, and I pray that you can do it also. This is nothing new, of course, the caretakers of this website have been saying this for years, and that's how I learned it. I pray that you and I can really take this message to heart and successfully put it into practice. Just my two cents .....</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="MrMike, post: 708917, member: 16687"] I agree whole-heartedly with Lil and others here. You're story I think is right at the heart of the detachment thing. You are only responsible for your actions. The other people in this story acted on their own and not because of anything you did. They are responsible for their own actions. My advice (even though I have trouble following it sometimes :) ) is to mentally carve out the type of environment you need to live in to be happy (being treated kindly and fairly, etc.) and insist that others in your house live that way or they are not welcome there. You have to establish your boundaries, otherwise you will be like an army fort with no walls or sentries, open to attack, vulnerable and insecure. I guess what I am trying to learn is that I have the responsibility of defining my living space, and if I don't do that it is on me. But, if I can do that, what a great thing that is. I can decide how I will allow others to treat me. What a glorious thing really. I know I must do this, and I pray that you can do it also. This is nothing new, of course, the caretakers of this website have been saying this for years, and that's how I learned it. I pray that you and I can really take this message to heart and successfully put it into practice. Just my two cents ..... [/QUOTE]
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