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<blockquote data-quote="busywend" data-source="post: 354207" data-attributes="member: 391"><p>OK - I think I have a different view on this one from everyone else. I did not read every word above, but I gathered the anger and outrage. </p><p></p><p>I look at it this way. This boy has had it rough. No, not by the hand or mouth of his mother. His own mind. Being different - no matter what reason (gay, handicapped, ADHD, BiPolar (BP), blind, etc) is a difficult road to travel. Not just for that person, for all around them. But, probably most difficult on the person that has the difference. They are the ones that have to stand out in a crowd - at least in their minds they do. </p><p></p><p>So, this boy has been different, just like difficult child has. Only he got no attention for being different (of course - nobody knew he was different). difficult child did though. </p><p></p><p>I guess my thought about the reaction to this letter is this:</p><p></p><p>1) Do NOT share this with husband. </p><p>2) Shoulder the burden for him now. Take it off his chest. Relieve him of his pain. How? Apologize for not giving him the attention he needed, tell him you are proud he is standing up for himself and finally being himself, support him in his future struggles that will come with being gay. </p><p>3 ) Once you have taken on his pain - toss it out. It is not real for you. It is HIS pain. You did nothing wrong in parenting him, it is just what he was destined to go through. </p><p></p><p>Imagine is he had pain from cancer - how many parents have actually said, "I wish I could feel the pain for him." or "I wish I could take it all away." You can do that for your child. </p><p></p><p>Just MHO.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="busywend, post: 354207, member: 391"] OK - I think I have a different view on this one from everyone else. I did not read every word above, but I gathered the anger and outrage. I look at it this way. This boy has had it rough. No, not by the hand or mouth of his mother. His own mind. Being different - no matter what reason (gay, handicapped, ADHD, BiPolar (BP), blind, etc) is a difficult road to travel. Not just for that person, for all around them. But, probably most difficult on the person that has the difference. They are the ones that have to stand out in a crowd - at least in their minds they do. So, this boy has been different, just like difficult child has. Only he got no attention for being different (of course - nobody knew he was different). difficult child did though. I guess my thought about the reaction to this letter is this: 1) Do NOT share this with husband. 2) Shoulder the burden for him now. Take it off his chest. Relieve him of his pain. How? Apologize for not giving him the attention he needed, tell him you are proud he is standing up for himself and finally being himself, support him in his future struggles that will come with being gay. 3 ) Once you have taken on his pain - toss it out. It is not real for you. It is HIS pain. You did nothing wrong in parenting him, it is just what he was destined to go through. Imagine is he had pain from cancer - how many parents have actually said, "I wish I could feel the pain for him." or "I wish I could take it all away." You can do that for your child. Just MHO. [/QUOTE]
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