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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 354263" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>I don't think his anger stems from his childhood upraising, personally. Might with the whole abuse from difficult child 1 thing, but not the rest. Like Heather, you can't claim to have forgiven someone and then deliberately inflict pain on them "so they can share your pain". Once you've forgiven someone, that's it. No need for anything else. Honestly, I don't think his anger has a thing to do with either you or husband. I think he's afraid of being rejected. And there may be some other underlying junk he needs to deal with. Maybe he's caught heck from other people due to his preferences and is now on the mega defensive. Cuz boy is he defensive. And you know what they say, the best offense is a good defense.</p><p></p><p>I still can't get over the fact that he does this to you but simply <em><strong>expects</strong></em> for you to come pick him up, bring him home, and all be right with the world. It doesn't matter what his rational behind the vicious letter was. The real world doesn't work that way. We've been hard at work teaching Nichole this for several years now. She is finally getting it.....starting to anyhow. It would be awfully hard for me to be understanding and kind after that, at least immediately after. </p><p></p><p>I hope you can get him to understand <em><strong>the way he did it</strong></em> was totally inappropriate while able to show him you could careless about his love life. Man, our kids really have to make things tough don't they. ugh</p><p></p><p>Hugs</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 354263, member: 84"] I don't think his anger stems from his childhood upraising, personally. Might with the whole abuse from difficult child 1 thing, but not the rest. Like Heather, you can't claim to have forgiven someone and then deliberately inflict pain on them "so they can share your pain". Once you've forgiven someone, that's it. No need for anything else. Honestly, I don't think his anger has a thing to do with either you or husband. I think he's afraid of being rejected. And there may be some other underlying junk he needs to deal with. Maybe he's caught heck from other people due to his preferences and is now on the mega defensive. Cuz boy is he defensive. And you know what they say, the best offense is a good defense. I still can't get over the fact that he does this to you but simply [I][B]expects[/B][/I] for you to come pick him up, bring him home, and all be right with the world. It doesn't matter what his rational behind the vicious letter was. The real world doesn't work that way. We've been hard at work teaching Nichole this for several years now. She is finally getting it.....starting to anyhow. It would be awfully hard for me to be understanding and kind after that, at least immediately after. I hope you can get him to understand [I][B]the way he did it[/B][/I] was totally inappropriate while able to show him you could careless about his love life. Man, our kids really have to make things tough don't they. ugh Hugs [/QUOTE]
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