Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Boundaries: non existant in her world, will that EVER change???
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 585852" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I've never dealt with this myself, but I have studied a lot about borderline, because borderline traits was one of my diagnosis...I definitely didn't have the whole personality disorder, but I've READ (I'm no expert...this is just from reading extensively) that borderlines are TERRIBLE at relationships but crave attention and then when they get it they don't want it. And both bipolar and borderline can cause inappropriate boundaries, especially bipolar mania. On the other hand, she may have a few other diagnosis. thrown in there that she never got such as mild autism, which impairs your ability to understand social norms. I've heard autistic kids shouting sexual things at lifeguards at some of our meetings and I know a few who touched girls inappropriately and got slapped for it but none were as unrelenting as your daughter (in other words, they learned). </p><p></p><p>Since your daughter is both difficult and clueless about social norms (unless she is deliberately trying to shock everybody, which could happen with the borderline) there is very little you can do to change her. Changing would require her to WANT to change and to be very proactive about getting serious and intense therapy to learn what is and isn't appropriate. In a way, I had to learn this myself because I honestly didn't "get" social norms and sometimes still miss important social ques, but of course I did "get" that you don't ask people how much they make and that it's asking for trouble to dress in skimpy clothing...she sounds very extreme and would require a lot of help, but if she seriously gets into trouble because of it and really wants to change there is some really good therapy out there now for the very serious diagnosis of borderline. It is called dialectal behavioral therapy. Maybe you can jot it down in case s he ever comes to you in tears finally asking for help. </p><p></p><p>In the meantime, I think your husband is smart not to be affectionate with her. And I can't see anything that you are doing wrong, all things considered. She is no longer at home and I'm sorry she has a warrant out for her, but you never know...maybe this will be the thing that gets through to her. If you young son ever asks about her, I'd just be honest and tell him that she is very sick or she wouldn't behave that way and that you hope she gets well. </p><p></p><p>OH I JUST NOTICED YOU KNOW ABOUT DBT.</p><p>DBT is very, very intensive and very, very good and teaches borderlines to try to control their ups and downs, which are far more frequent than in bipolar. You can have an entire change of heart inside of a minute with borderline and it really IS hard to control, but it can be done. Everything is taught. It could definitely help your daughter, BUT...BUT...BUT...only if she is very committed to the treatment because borderline is very difficult to change, which means it takes a lot of work on the patient's part. However, I think it's supercedes even CBT in helpfulness, not just for borderline but in all mental illness. It is starting to be used for everything. Would she read a site about it? I have a link. Here it is:</p><p></p><p><a href="http://www.dbtselfhelp.com/" target="_blank">http://www.dbtselfhelp.com/</a></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 585852, member: 1550"] I've never dealt with this myself, but I have studied a lot about borderline, because borderline traits was one of my diagnosis...I definitely didn't have the whole personality disorder, but I've READ (I'm no expert...this is just from reading extensively) that borderlines are TERRIBLE at relationships but crave attention and then when they get it they don't want it. And both bipolar and borderline can cause inappropriate boundaries, especially bipolar mania. On the other hand, she may have a few other diagnosis. thrown in there that she never got such as mild autism, which impairs your ability to understand social norms. I've heard autistic kids shouting sexual things at lifeguards at some of our meetings and I know a few who touched girls inappropriately and got slapped for it but none were as unrelenting as your daughter (in other words, they learned). Since your daughter is both difficult and clueless about social norms (unless she is deliberately trying to shock everybody, which could happen with the borderline) there is very little you can do to change her. Changing would require her to WANT to change and to be very proactive about getting serious and intense therapy to learn what is and isn't appropriate. In a way, I had to learn this myself because I honestly didn't "get" social norms and sometimes still miss important social ques, but of course I did "get" that you don't ask people how much they make and that it's asking for trouble to dress in skimpy clothing...she sounds very extreme and would require a lot of help, but if she seriously gets into trouble because of it and really wants to change there is some really good therapy out there now for the very serious diagnosis of borderline. It is called dialectal behavioral therapy. Maybe you can jot it down in case s he ever comes to you in tears finally asking for help. In the meantime, I think your husband is smart not to be affectionate with her. And I can't see anything that you are doing wrong, all things considered. She is no longer at home and I'm sorry she has a warrant out for her, but you never know...maybe this will be the thing that gets through to her. If you young son ever asks about her, I'd just be honest and tell him that she is very sick or she wouldn't behave that way and that you hope she gets well. OH I JUST NOTICED YOU KNOW ABOUT DBT. DBT is very, very intensive and very, very good and teaches borderlines to try to control their ups and downs, which are far more frequent than in bipolar. You can have an entire change of heart inside of a minute with borderline and it really IS hard to control, but it can be done. Everything is taught. It could definitely help your daughter, BUT...BUT...BUT...only if she is very committed to the treatment because borderline is very difficult to change, which means it takes a lot of work on the patient's part. However, I think it's supercedes even CBT in helpfulness, not just for borderline but in all mental illness. It is starting to be used for everything. Would she read a site about it? I have a link. Here it is: [url]http://www.dbtselfhelp.com/[/url] [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Boundaries: non existant in her world, will that EVER change???
Top