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The Watercooler
Boy are his wheels spinning
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<blockquote data-quote="trinityroyal" data-source="post: 363137" data-attributes="member: 3907"><p>Susie, Beth makes a very good point. Thing is, I think your mother already knows that you're the one with the moral fibre in this situation. From the sound of things, your gfgbro rides roughshod over her the same way he tries to do over you. And I think your mom might be more than a little bit resentful that you have the gumption to stand up for yourself and try to draw boundaries. She'd rather have company in her misery, than see you break free from the situation and be happy.</p><p></p><p>Your actions might be highlighting for your mom what she could have and should have done about the situation, and she's resenting you for making her see it clearly. Puncturing someone's delusion is not always rewarded even if (especially if?) it needs to be done for everyone's well-being. I faced a similar situation years ago, when my difficult child-mother kept pushing me to reconcile with my ex-h. We had parallel, miserable marriages and she couldn't stand it that I was taking steps to get out when she just sat there and took it.</p><p></p><p>Your mother needs to respect that you are taking steps to secure your family's health and happiness. If she can't support you in that, or worse, tries to undermine it, well then she's made her choice and is a toxic force in your life.</p><p> </p><p>Oh. And what Star said.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="trinityroyal, post: 363137, member: 3907"] Susie, Beth makes a very good point. Thing is, I think your mother already knows that you're the one with the moral fibre in this situation. From the sound of things, your gfgbro rides roughshod over her the same way he tries to do over you. And I think your mom might be more than a little bit resentful that you have the gumption to stand up for yourself and try to draw boundaries. She'd rather have company in her misery, than see you break free from the situation and be happy. Your actions might be highlighting for your mom what she could have and should have done about the situation, and she's resenting you for making her see it clearly. Puncturing someone's delusion is not always rewarded even if (especially if?) it needs to be done for everyone's well-being. I faced a similar situation years ago, when my difficult child-mother kept pushing me to reconcile with my ex-h. We had parallel, miserable marriages and she couldn't stand it that I was taking steps to get out when she just sat there and took it. Your mother needs to respect that you are taking steps to secure your family's health and happiness. If she can't support you in that, or worse, tries to undermine it, well then she's made her choice and is a toxic force in your life. Oh. And what Star said. [/QUOTE]
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Boy are his wheels spinning
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