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The Watercooler
Boy does he move quick
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<blockquote data-quote="Big Bad Kitty" data-source="post: 87959" data-attributes="member: 3647"><p>Yup. I'm with Suz.</p><p></p><p>I think that BFF Jill needs to tell husband to stop calling her. The line of communication needs to be broken. Somehow, what he does has to stop getting back to you. Number one, it does nothing to help you grieve. Secondly, it is frankly none of your business, and shame on him for trying to make it so.</p><p></p><p>You absolutely cannot grieve the loss of something that is there in your face. You are doing what comes natural, and that is showing him up to be a schmuck. Believe me, he does not need your help. When DEX and I first split, I ran around telling people what a rat he was, what a jerk he was, how he lied, how he cheated, how he does not seem to even miss me, how he ran right into another woman's arms, how could he, blah blah blah. It did several things. </p><p></p><p>~it made me look like a fool. </p><p>~it had people question my dedication to him for so long.</p><p>~it slowed down my grieving process.</p><p></p><p>When I shut up, he made a fool out of himself, all by himself. I grieved. I went through all the phases. I cried on shoulders of people who cared and understood. I got better. He remained stagnant. </p><p></p><p>When he came to pick up Tink from the new place on Friday, his eyes about popped out of the sockets. He is living with his g/f off of HER subsidized housing because he refuses to work. He does not want child support for his 4 kids (Tink included) taken out of his pay. He will never live in a nice place like this.</p><p></p><p>But I digress. Like Suz, I worry that you are more interested in what his coming and goings are, and like I said, it is normal to do that when you have been wronged. Try real hard not to check up on him (or listen to any updates from BFF Jill). </p><p></p><p>It is time for you, easy child, and your new, pretty place. </p><p></p><p>((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Big Bad Kitty, post: 87959, member: 3647"] Yup. I'm with Suz. I think that BFF Jill needs to tell husband to stop calling her. The line of communication needs to be broken. Somehow, what he does has to stop getting back to you. Number one, it does nothing to help you grieve. Secondly, it is frankly none of your business, and shame on him for trying to make it so. You absolutely cannot grieve the loss of something that is there in your face. You are doing what comes natural, and that is showing him up to be a schmuck. Believe me, he does not need your help. When DEX and I first split, I ran around telling people what a rat he was, what a jerk he was, how he lied, how he cheated, how he does not seem to even miss me, how he ran right into another woman's arms, how could he, blah blah blah. It did several things. ~it made me look like a fool. ~it had people question my dedication to him for so long. ~it slowed down my grieving process. When I shut up, he made a fool out of himself, all by himself. I grieved. I went through all the phases. I cried on shoulders of people who cared and understood. I got better. He remained stagnant. When he came to pick up Tink from the new place on Friday, his eyes about popped out of the sockets. He is living with his g/f off of HER subsidized housing because he refuses to work. He does not want child support for his 4 kids (Tink included) taken out of his pay. He will never live in a nice place like this. But I digress. Like Suz, I worry that you are more interested in what his coming and goings are, and like I said, it is normal to do that when you have been wronged. Try real hard not to check up on him (or listen to any updates from BFF Jill). It is time for you, easy child, and your new, pretty place. ((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))) [/QUOTE]
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