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Breaking and entering?
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 578632" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>This situation seems VERY DANGEROUS to me. Press charges for taking the animals as he likely took them to hurt them. it is a common step for kids with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) and/or conduct disorder who end up hurting people. It is a lot easier to hurt animals and is one step on the way to becoming a very dangerous person. I cannot see him trying to steal his way back home or stealing something from home when all he has taken is vodka and 2 chickens. Simply does not add up to me.</p><p></p><p>He is going to break in. It is what it is. Insist that husband start setting the alarm and do so yourself. If husband won't? Have a gigantic temper tantrum. I am NOT NOT NOT joking. This is your safety. He is violating your home, and given his past behavior and that he was removed due to your safety, he is likely to wind up harming you or husband, esp as he seems unhappy with having to be in the group home. </p><p></p><p>He clearly feels he can set his own rules and they SW/system has allowed this so far, esp with putting him back in a home in your area when he could not cope/succeed in a more restrictive one and demanded to be returned to the close one. Of course the close one is not able to keep him their either, and he is close enough to you that he is breaking in. You NEED the police more involved and you NEED to press charges because otherwise he is likely to stay there and hurt you if you come home or if you are home when he comes around. Taking your anmals and not having them at the group home, plus letting all the others go is a bad sign. At least he hasn't harmed them all, but setting them loose certainly makes this a strong possibility for the future. Padlocking the gates is a good idea.</p><p></p><p>I think your husband needs to read those court reports, probably several of the most recent all at once. He is hiding from the reality of his son, and as long as he does this, he is going to endanger ALL of you. What happens if difficult child harms you or husband, or steals something of value or a weapon from your home? The police will be after him, and if he is threatening they may not have many choices but to shoot. The solution isn't to not report things or to not set the alarm, it is to do what you can to stop these things NOW by usin the alarm pressing charges, etc.... so that he has a chance to realize that he doesn't want the consequences. Having the alarm sound may startle him or warn him off so that he doesn't confront you or harm you. Allowing him to get away with this stuff with-o consequences leads him down the road to more serious crimes. husband has to step up or tragedy may happen. A member here recently lost her son in a police shooting after some dangerous behaviors. She did everything she could to prevent it, and it still wasn't enough. You don't want that to happen, and you MUST protect yourself, your home, AND difficult child by making him face the consequences NOW before he escalates even more. You may not be able to stop bad things, but you can try.</p><p></p><p>I am sorry he is so disturbed and is escalating this way. I feel 100% he will escalate to breaking in before long, and I am sorry about that.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 578632, member: 1233"] This situation seems VERY DANGEROUS to me. Press charges for taking the animals as he likely took them to hurt them. it is a common step for kids with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) and/or conduct disorder who end up hurting people. It is a lot easier to hurt animals and is one step on the way to becoming a very dangerous person. I cannot see him trying to steal his way back home or stealing something from home when all he has taken is vodka and 2 chickens. Simply does not add up to me. He is going to break in. It is what it is. Insist that husband start setting the alarm and do so yourself. If husband won't? Have a gigantic temper tantrum. I am NOT NOT NOT joking. This is your safety. He is violating your home, and given his past behavior and that he was removed due to your safety, he is likely to wind up harming you or husband, esp as he seems unhappy with having to be in the group home. He clearly feels he can set his own rules and they SW/system has allowed this so far, esp with putting him back in a home in your area when he could not cope/succeed in a more restrictive one and demanded to be returned to the close one. Of course the close one is not able to keep him their either, and he is close enough to you that he is breaking in. You NEED the police more involved and you NEED to press charges because otherwise he is likely to stay there and hurt you if you come home or if you are home when he comes around. Taking your anmals and not having them at the group home, plus letting all the others go is a bad sign. At least he hasn't harmed them all, but setting them loose certainly makes this a strong possibility for the future. Padlocking the gates is a good idea. I think your husband needs to read those court reports, probably several of the most recent all at once. He is hiding from the reality of his son, and as long as he does this, he is going to endanger ALL of you. What happens if difficult child harms you or husband, or steals something of value or a weapon from your home? The police will be after him, and if he is threatening they may not have many choices but to shoot. The solution isn't to not report things or to not set the alarm, it is to do what you can to stop these things NOW by usin the alarm pressing charges, etc.... so that he has a chance to realize that he doesn't want the consequences. Having the alarm sound may startle him or warn him off so that he doesn't confront you or harm you. Allowing him to get away with this stuff with-o consequences leads him down the road to more serious crimes. husband has to step up or tragedy may happen. A member here recently lost her son in a police shooting after some dangerous behaviors. She did everything she could to prevent it, and it still wasn't enough. You don't want that to happen, and you MUST protect yourself, your home, AND difficult child by making him face the consequences NOW before he escalates even more. You may not be able to stop bad things, but you can try. I am sorry he is so disturbed and is escalating this way. I feel 100% he will escalate to breaking in before long, and I am sorry about that. [/QUOTE]
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