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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 692753" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Hi Esther. I love it that you are here. I want you here more, not less, if it was up to me. I for one would welcome such posts from you. I respect you and I know I would grow and learn, even though our viewpoints would differ. I would grow stronger and wiser because I would have to take in your point of view. I believe we would know each other better and be closer and stronger--knowing more.</p><p></p><p>So, actually, by writing this, I fear I am even changing in my perspective about Brexit, because I am a person who believes in change and embracing it, even though I can understand fear and reaction. So, as a consequence of this thread already I am gaining in both understanding of myself and in my capacity for compassion for people who may be different than I am, for whom I did not feel sufficient compassion before.</p><p> I am reading this as an opportunity to learn from people I trust and respect, not as an argument. You see, I read so many news and financial stories, but I do not know those people. Hearing your views and experience, I can take it to my heart and it makes for a completely different kind of learning.</p><p>I understand your point of view. I respect it. At the same time, I believe that I would grow from hearing your experience because I respect you and care about you. </p><p></p><p>This will all be decided for us. By whether people keep posting on this thread or whether the mods shut it down or not.</p><p></p><p>But in a sense what is happening here is the same thing that Brexit was about. We have an identity here on CD. Some of us are in favor of expanding and changing it. Others believe that such an endeavor puts in danger the identity we have and need and love. </p><p></p><p>In some sense what we go through as parents and families with our difficult children is the same kind of thing. Power struggles over changing or staying the same. Negotiating these struggles. </p><p>I did not know this, Esther. Someday I would love to learn how it was for you to leave and how it is for you to have viewed the changes in Europe from your perspective. But then, again, that is the thing in question. If that would be a suitable endeavor to the forum and our obligation to respect the boundaries of the place, the point that Esther is making. That all of us, each of us, for our devotion to the forum, needs to exercise self-control to protect it.</p><p></p><p>So, in a fascinating way this thread is mirroring the whole Brexit debate, at least in my own mind.</p><p>I agree with Esther.</p><p></p><p>Except for this: To me, Conduct Disorders is a place to discuss identity and change. And to me, Brexit is about that. </p><p></p><p>We are discussing and identity and change of political and cultural phenomena. That can well be dangerous ground. I can see that.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 692753, member: 18958"] Hi Esther. I love it that you are here. I want you here more, not less, if it was up to me. I for one would welcome such posts from you. I respect you and I know I would grow and learn, even though our viewpoints would differ. I would grow stronger and wiser because I would have to take in your point of view. I believe we would know each other better and be closer and stronger--knowing more. So, actually, by writing this, I fear I am even changing in my perspective about Brexit, because I am a person who believes in change and embracing it, even though I can understand fear and reaction. So, as a consequence of this thread already I am gaining in both understanding of myself and in my capacity for compassion for people who may be different than I am, for whom I did not feel sufficient compassion before. I am reading this as an opportunity to learn from people I trust and respect, not as an argument. You see, I read so many news and financial stories, but I do not know those people. Hearing your views and experience, I can take it to my heart and it makes for a completely different kind of learning. I understand your point of view. I respect it. At the same time, I believe that I would grow from hearing your experience because I respect you and care about you. This will all be decided for us. By whether people keep posting on this thread or whether the mods shut it down or not. But in a sense what is happening here is the same thing that Brexit was about. We have an identity here on CD. Some of us are in favor of expanding and changing it. Others believe that such an endeavor puts in danger the identity we have and need and love. In some sense what we go through as parents and families with our difficult children is the same kind of thing. Power struggles over changing or staying the same. Negotiating these struggles. I did not know this, Esther. Someday I would love to learn how it was for you to leave and how it is for you to have viewed the changes in Europe from your perspective. But then, again, that is the thing in question. If that would be a suitable endeavor to the forum and our obligation to respect the boundaries of the place, the point that Esther is making. That all of us, each of us, for our devotion to the forum, needs to exercise self-control to protect it. So, in a fascinating way this thread is mirroring the whole Brexit debate, at least in my own mind. I agree with Esther. Except for this: To me, Conduct Disorders is a place to discuss identity and change. And to me, Brexit is about that. We are discussing and identity and change of political and cultural phenomena. That can well be dangerous ground. I can see that. [/QUOTE]
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