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Substance Abuse
Brilliant son nearly homeless
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 744352" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>You can not possibly care for that many people. Not only is it terrible for your own health (I am about your age and am done caretaking) but they are not getting YOUR best. And YOU matter. I recommend taking big breaks and having a great rest of your life. Here are some suggestions. Take them or leave them.</p><p></p><p>1. Stop helping and angsting over very bright 29 year old son who insists on working at pizza parlors. You know he can support himself. If he is on drugs or something else is going on, at his age you cant do one thing. Other than encoraging him to go to rehab or to his county mental health center, where they have low cost help, you can do nothing. Nothing. Dont fight with him. Dont do for him. If you run out of money, will he be there to help you? I think not. At a certain age, I think 60, we deserve to back off and let it be. We will not be around forever. We deserve great Golden Years and they need to stop crying and learn to do for themselves. Who will play Mommy for them when we leave?</p><p></p><p>2. Your Dad is next. He is in Assisted Living. He is paying good money to have care. Let them do their job. Other than visiting on YOUR schedule, who cares if he gets irrate? Call his nurse, alert them to his state of mind and see him when it is best for you.</p><p></p><p>Why let him or anyone boss you around at your wise and deserving age? Its not as if you deserted him! Do not not not take him to a motel and stay with your Dad. Dont do it! Does he have dementia? Nobody else hears his noises. Dont get involved. Let the doctors do the best that they can. They ARE doctors. They can do more than you.</p><p></p><p>Let your other brother figure life out himself. He needs to grow up or get Disability benefits. Not your problem.</p><p></p><p>Your son is a bit old to need you at his birthday but its your decision, not your dads. Im thinking no "suppirt" will make your son any better. Dont give cash as a gift or anything he can sell.</p><p></p><p>Sound cold? Think of this. Most nice, loving kids are starting to worry and sometimes almost overworry for 64 year old parents, not put more stress on them.</p><p></p><p> Most fathers of all ages do not make unreasonable demands on loving children. You are a person,not a slave</p><p></p><p>So.what if they might get mad at you? Do they worry about YOUR feelimgs?</p><p></p><p>There is a time to be Mommy and darling daughter and a time when this has to stop. A time when it is no longer appropriate.</p><p></p><p> Of course nobody can stop you from what you will do, but this is my.opinion. I still love my family but hubby and I are going to travel south in the winter in our RV starting next year.</p><p></p><p>It is our time now. Of course we will help with reasonable requests, but your son, dad and brother are not being reasonable. They are all adults and need to grow up. And you need to enjoy life!</p><p></p><p>Are you rich? Your son can find a cheap therapist. Your father can stay where he is. Now if you are Paris Hilton rich maybe you can and are willing to pay it all....</p><p></p><p>Love and light!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 744352, member: 1550"] You can not possibly care for that many people. Not only is it terrible for your own health (I am about your age and am done caretaking) but they are not getting YOUR best. And YOU matter. I recommend taking big breaks and having a great rest of your life. Here are some suggestions. Take them or leave them. 1. Stop helping and angsting over very bright 29 year old son who insists on working at pizza parlors. You know he can support himself. If he is on drugs or something else is going on, at his age you cant do one thing. Other than encoraging him to go to rehab or to his county mental health center, where they have low cost help, you can do nothing. Nothing. Dont fight with him. Dont do for him. If you run out of money, will he be there to help you? I think not. At a certain age, I think 60, we deserve to back off and let it be. We will not be around forever. We deserve great Golden Years and they need to stop crying and learn to do for themselves. Who will play Mommy for them when we leave? 2. Your Dad is next. He is in Assisted Living. He is paying good money to have care. Let them do their job. Other than visiting on YOUR schedule, who cares if he gets irrate? Call his nurse, alert them to his state of mind and see him when it is best for you. Why let him or anyone boss you around at your wise and deserving age? Its not as if you deserted him! Do not not not take him to a motel and stay with your Dad. Dont do it! Does he have dementia? Nobody else hears his noises. Dont get involved. Let the doctors do the best that they can. They ARE doctors. They can do more than you. Let your other brother figure life out himself. He needs to grow up or get Disability benefits. Not your problem. Your son is a bit old to need you at his birthday but its your decision, not your dads. Im thinking no "suppirt" will make your son any better. Dont give cash as a gift or anything he can sell. Sound cold? Think of this. Most nice, loving kids are starting to worry and sometimes almost overworry for 64 year old parents, not put more stress on them. Most fathers of all ages do not make unreasonable demands on loving children. You are a person,not a slave So.what if they might get mad at you? Do they worry about YOUR feelimgs? There is a time to be Mommy and darling daughter and a time when this has to stop. A time when it is no longer appropriate. Of course nobody can stop you from what you will do, but this is my.opinion. I still love my family but hubby and I are going to travel south in the winter in our RV starting next year. It is our time now. Of course we will help with reasonable requests, but your son, dad and brother are not being reasonable. They are all adults and need to grow up. And you need to enjoy life! Are you rich? Your son can find a cheap therapist. Your father can stay where he is. Now if you are Paris Hilton rich maybe you can and are willing to pay it all.... Love and light! [/QUOTE]
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Brilliant son nearly homeless
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