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Substance Abuse
Brilliant son nearly homeless
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<blockquote data-quote="DoneDad" data-source="post: 744368" data-attributes="member: 17244"><p>Wow. You’re taking care of of four generations. </p><p></p><p>It sounds like evertbody’s default position is to dump all their problems on you instead of dealing with them themselves. Running yourself ragged at age 64 isn’t really sustainable - you need to establish and enforce boundaries in all these situations. </p><p></p><p>Son. Can you really afford $1200 / month for a psychiatrist? What about retirement? He needs to find resources on his own if he needs them. He has a degree in an in- demand field and can get jobs if he wants to. If he wants to make pizza instead, that’s his choice and it comes with consequences. </p><p></p><p>Daughter. There are programs for single mothers for food, housing, child care, etc. Also, the father should be paying child support. If he’s not, she needs to take him to court. It’s easier for her to just work a McJob and have you pick up all the slack. Let her know that’s not happening anymore. </p><p></p><p>Father. Let him know he can call once a day, once every two days, or whatever works for you. He’s in assisted living - let them assist him. </p><p></p><p>You’re not abandoning these people by standing up for yourself. You’re taking care of yourself. You won’t be any help to anybody if you let them dump all their problems on you and you end up debilitated or dead.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DoneDad, post: 744368, member: 17244"] Wow. You’re taking care of of four generations. It sounds like evertbody’s default position is to dump all their problems on you instead of dealing with them themselves. Running yourself ragged at age 64 isn’t really sustainable - you need to establish and enforce boundaries in all these situations. Son. Can you really afford $1200 / month for a psychiatrist? What about retirement? He needs to find resources on his own if he needs them. He has a degree in an in- demand field and can get jobs if he wants to. If he wants to make pizza instead, that’s his choice and it comes with consequences. Daughter. There are programs for single mothers for food, housing, child care, etc. Also, the father should be paying child support. If he’s not, she needs to take him to court. It’s easier for her to just work a McJob and have you pick up all the slack. Let her know that’s not happening anymore. Father. Let him know he can call once a day, once every two days, or whatever works for you. He’s in assisted living - let them assist him. You’re not abandoning these people by standing up for yourself. You’re taking care of yourself. You won’t be any help to anybody if you let them dump all their problems on you and you end up debilitated or dead. [/QUOTE]
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Brilliant son nearly homeless
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