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Broken and despairing. Bereft. No hope left.
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 702907" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>I love this idea Copa, it is for YOU........when I read it I felt excited for you.....a new adventure with just you and M......you've been through the ringer......I say, go for it! Now that my daughter is on a better path and my granddaughter is on her own, my husband and I are looking at options like yours. It is exciting and fun to talk about ideas and make plans.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>If your son only wants to stay with you short term, he may be on his own by the time you leave......</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Well if it were me, I would not have a good time on my adventure if I felt my home may be being destroyed........and the apartment with no shower doesn't sound viable, however, your mention of the room above the garage actually sounds like a place your son could fix up on his own and not be in the main house. I don't know if you could lock up the main house while you are gone and only allow him in the garage apartment, but if you could, at least your mind would be at ease while you are gone. It may also be prudent for your well being to have someone else care for the animals since history has shown your son to be irresponsible in that area. You might employ a house/pet sitter so that someone will be at your home keeping it safe. I would cover all the bases and make sure your son is restricted so your property and belongings and pets are safe.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I meant the choice to detach from your son, that is the only choice we can really make......to take care of our needs FIRST.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>That's the choice! Go for it!</p><p></p><p>It sounds to me as if you are on a threshold, ready to leap into the unknown in your own life but hindered by your love, devotion and sense of responsibility of your son. I can so relate to that. I am now very close to being able to move freely about the universe because I have done everything possible to liberate myself from the jaws of enabling......my daughter will be completing a 5 year legal hassle in 8 days which is the final stop to her complete independence.....I have diligently worked to support her through this time, because she began helping herself and doing the right thing ......she and I are both excited to begin our separate journeys now....</p><p></p><p>It sounds to me as if you have a plan, it's just figuring out how to make it happen so that you can leave feeling good......I'm excited for both of us Copa, in our 60's planning our next adventure.....it's time.....<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 702907, member: 13542"] I love this idea Copa, it is for YOU........when I read it I felt excited for you.....a new adventure with just you and M......you've been through the ringer......I say, go for it! Now that my daughter is on a better path and my granddaughter is on her own, my husband and I are looking at options like yours. It is exciting and fun to talk about ideas and make plans. If your son only wants to stay with you short term, he may be on his own by the time you leave...... Well if it were me, I would not have a good time on my adventure if I felt my home may be being destroyed........and the apartment with no shower doesn't sound viable, however, your mention of the room above the garage actually sounds like a place your son could fix up on his own and not be in the main house. I don't know if you could lock up the main house while you are gone and only allow him in the garage apartment, but if you could, at least your mind would be at ease while you are gone. It may also be prudent for your well being to have someone else care for the animals since history has shown your son to be irresponsible in that area. You might employ a house/pet sitter so that someone will be at your home keeping it safe. I would cover all the bases and make sure your son is restricted so your property and belongings and pets are safe. I meant the choice to detach from your son, that is the only choice we can really make......to take care of our needs FIRST. That's the choice! Go for it! It sounds to me as if you are on a threshold, ready to leap into the unknown in your own life but hindered by your love, devotion and sense of responsibility of your son. I can so relate to that. I am now very close to being able to move freely about the universe because I have done everything possible to liberate myself from the jaws of enabling......my daughter will be completing a 5 year legal hassle in 8 days which is the final stop to her complete independence.....I have diligently worked to support her through this time, because she began helping herself and doing the right thing ......she and I are both excited to begin our separate journeys now.... It sounds to me as if you have a plan, it's just figuring out how to make it happen so that you can leave feeling good......I'm excited for both of us Copa, in our 60's planning our next adventure.....it's time.....:) [/QUOTE]
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