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Broken and despairing. Bereft. No hope left.
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 703010" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Nomad, while I admire (and envy) this course, it is not one I feel is available to me. M will not consider therapy and, if he did, we are quite limited because of language differences. Quite honestly, I do not have a lot of muscle left to reach out and take the risk to trust therapists, due to past experiences. But respect this course of action, in general.</p><p></p><p>My son, too. But he displays this arrogance--without knowing or caring to learn about how things work, and what can be the consequences.</p><p></p><p>Today we had another disaster. An explanatory document arrived from my insurance (I had begged them to keep him as my dependent beyond the 26 year cut off. Because of his liver disease I wanted him to have insurance beyond the Medicaid that comes with his SSI).</p><p></p><p>Well. He uses emergency psychiatric hospitalizations in favor of homeless shelters or motels or hotels. When he needs a place to stay, (we have asked him to leave, for instance) he shows up at hospital x to say he is thinking of suicide, and thereby solves his housing needs on a temporary basis. This forces the insurance company to pay almost $6000 a pop.</p><p></p><p>At dispute right now are the bills he racked up when he was at the residential treatment center. I urged him prior: <em>Make sure you confirm with the insurance company if you have coverage at x facility and if so what percentage they will cover, and what part you will have to pay. </em></p><p></p><p>Thousands and thousands of dollars of bills have been coming in. He is overwhelmed. I offer to assist him, and he rejects my counsel or support. He just says: <em>I have handled everything. There are no more bills that I am responsible for.</em></p><p></p><p>In some of the cases, the insurance company sends me the check, which I am responsible to turn over to the hospital or other entity. That happened this morning. All he read was $15 copay and came into my room waving the statement like a flag to prove how virtuous he was and how well he handles his business.</p><p></p><p>I read it and saw there was a check to me, below: J. This is a check to me that needs to be turned over to the hospital (he was unaware that it was from a hospital nearly a year ago, and not from his recent travails.)</p><p></p><p>He replied: <em>No it isn't. This is not a check to you. It just says I owe nothing</em>. (I would guess my son has an IQ over 125 or 130, but is he stupid.)</p><p></p><p>He calls me a liar and renders everything I know to be true about a particular thing or life generally--invalid and in error. To him I already have Alzheimers. And that Is the only reality of things. He will use me and try to manipulate me, but the truth of things, to him is that I am without real value, and demented. That is how he acts.</p><p></p><p>I am re-thinking any involvement with him, what so ever.</p><p></p><p>M told him privately after this episode with the insurance statement: <em>none of your words mean one thing to me. I do not believe what you say about anything. And don't think that your manipulations and your games work with me. They don't. Go about your business as you wish.</em></p><p></p><p>In other words, <em>don't believe your shxt does not stink with me, because it does.</em></p><p></p><p>I guess M might be ready to detach.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 703010, member: 18958"] Nomad, while I admire (and envy) this course, it is not one I feel is available to me. M will not consider therapy and, if he did, we are quite limited because of language differences. Quite honestly, I do not have a lot of muscle left to reach out and take the risk to trust therapists, due to past experiences. But respect this course of action, in general. My son, too. But he displays this arrogance--without knowing or caring to learn about how things work, and what can be the consequences. Today we had another disaster. An explanatory document arrived from my insurance (I had begged them to keep him as my dependent beyond the 26 year cut off. Because of his liver disease I wanted him to have insurance beyond the Medicaid that comes with his SSI). Well. He uses emergency psychiatric hospitalizations in favor of homeless shelters or motels or hotels. When he needs a place to stay, (we have asked him to leave, for instance) he shows up at hospital x to say he is thinking of suicide, and thereby solves his housing needs on a temporary basis. This forces the insurance company to pay almost $6000 a pop. At dispute right now are the bills he racked up when he was at the residential treatment center. I urged him prior: [I]Make sure you confirm with the insurance company if you have coverage at x facility and if so what percentage they will cover, and what part you will have to pay. [/I] Thousands and thousands of dollars of bills have been coming in. He is overwhelmed. I offer to assist him, and he rejects my counsel or support. He just says: [I]I have handled everything. There are no more bills that I am responsible for.[/I] In some of the cases, the insurance company sends me the check, which I am responsible to turn over to the hospital or other entity. That happened this morning. All he read was $15 copay and came into my room waving the statement like a flag to prove how virtuous he was and how well he handles his business. I read it and saw there was a check to me, below: J. This is a check to me that needs to be turned over to the hospital (he was unaware that it was from a hospital nearly a year ago, and not from his recent travails.) He replied: [I]No it isn't. This is not a check to you. It just says I owe nothing[/I]. (I would guess my son has an IQ over 125 or 130, but is he stupid.) He calls me a liar and renders everything I know to be true about a particular thing or life generally--invalid and in error. To him I already have Alzheimers. And that Is the only reality of things. He will use me and try to manipulate me, but the truth of things, to him is that I am without real value, and demented. That is how he acts. I am re-thinking any involvement with him, what so ever. M told him privately after this episode with the insurance statement: [I]none of your words mean one thing to me. I do not believe what you say about anything. And don't think that your manipulations and your games work with me. They don't. Go about your business as you wish.[/I] In other words, [I]don't believe your shxt does not stink with me, because it does.[/I] I guess M might be ready to detach. [/QUOTE]
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