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<blockquote data-quote="Hopeful97" data-source="post: 673898" data-attributes="member: 19678"><p>Wow! Hubby in er today with chest pain and shortness of breath. He is being admitted at least overnight for more testing if those test come back okay then home. In the meantime Difficult Child started calling this morning I did not answer any calls. At hospital started blowing up my phone and hubby's phone. Hubby did not want to talk to him but wanted someone to answer Difficult Child's call. Other son answered and was told hubby in hospital Difficult Child started talking to other son who wasn't really listening Difficult Child wanted to talk to me. When other son handed me the phone I said to him what did Difficult Child say other son said I couldn't hear him that well Difficult Child talking some bs. I talked to Difficult Child who tells me he is in a lot of pain with his tooth sounds like he is crying. I tell him there is nothing I can do that he needs to find a free clinic. Difficult Child says the clinic wants money and he does not have any money. I tell Difficult Child I am sorry I do not have any money and the only other thing I know is to go to homeless shelter maybe they can help. Difficult Child says really f u. I hang up. Hubby wants to know what's going and can I take Difficult Child, I say no not after Difficult Child tells me f u when i made suggestions of what ro do. Hubby says well I guess I will take him. I say where we do not have the money to help, he says what about insurance I say what insurance Difficult Child does not have insurance. Then Difficult Child sends picture to hubby trying to show his tooth he is crying and the text with the picture says "u see so much pain, u guys about my family, u don't even care." Hubby tells how worried he is about Difficult Child I say me too. I think a lot of this er visit this morning is partly anxiety, stress, worry over Difficult Child. Hubby knows we cannot help him he is just grasping at straws and I have to remember I am much farther along in this nightmarish journey. He has been calling sister to and she will not answer. I am feeling strange because the feeling of wanting to jump in and help Difficult Child is not there this time, not even a little like it was when I gave him anbesol, aspirin and water. Am I losing my compassion or my natural mother's instinct to help and do for her children? I don't want to turn into a hard callous person. Maybe it's just that I cannot take the abuse anymore - I do not want to be Difficult Child's victim anymore. Maybe someday Difficult Child will get it and truly seek the help he needs and truly want to repair broken relationships. Wow, just saying that makes me think "some mother you are" that is what my heart says but my logical says "you did the only thing left to do". Once again I know I am all over the place, I hope this makes some sort of sense. Making sense out of chaos is impossible.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hopeful97, post: 673898, member: 19678"] Wow! Hubby in er today with chest pain and shortness of breath. He is being admitted at least overnight for more testing if those test come back okay then home. In the meantime Difficult Child started calling this morning I did not answer any calls. At hospital started blowing up my phone and hubby's phone. Hubby did not want to talk to him but wanted someone to answer Difficult Child's call. Other son answered and was told hubby in hospital Difficult Child started talking to other son who wasn't really listening Difficult Child wanted to talk to me. When other son handed me the phone I said to him what did Difficult Child say other son said I couldn't hear him that well Difficult Child talking some bs. I talked to Difficult Child who tells me he is in a lot of pain with his tooth sounds like he is crying. I tell him there is nothing I can do that he needs to find a free clinic. Difficult Child says the clinic wants money and he does not have any money. I tell Difficult Child I am sorry I do not have any money and the only other thing I know is to go to homeless shelter maybe they can help. Difficult Child says really f u. I hang up. Hubby wants to know what's going and can I take Difficult Child, I say no not after Difficult Child tells me f u when i made suggestions of what ro do. Hubby says well I guess I will take him. I say where we do not have the money to help, he says what about insurance I say what insurance Difficult Child does not have insurance. Then Difficult Child sends picture to hubby trying to show his tooth he is crying and the text with the picture says "u see so much pain, u guys about my family, u don't even care." Hubby tells how worried he is about Difficult Child I say me too. I think a lot of this er visit this morning is partly anxiety, stress, worry over Difficult Child. Hubby knows we cannot help him he is just grasping at straws and I have to remember I am much farther along in this nightmarish journey. He has been calling sister to and she will not answer. I am feeling strange because the feeling of wanting to jump in and help Difficult Child is not there this time, not even a little like it was when I gave him anbesol, aspirin and water. Am I losing my compassion or my natural mother's instinct to help and do for her children? I don't want to turn into a hard callous person. Maybe it's just that I cannot take the abuse anymore - I do not want to be Difficult Child's victim anymore. Maybe someday Difficult Child will get it and truly seek the help he needs and truly want to repair broken relationships. Wow, just saying that makes me think "some mother you are" that is what my heart says but my logical says "you did the only thing left to do". Once again I know I am all over the place, I hope this makes some sort of sense. Making sense out of chaos is impossible. [/QUOTE]
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