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<blockquote data-quote="Kalahou" data-source="post: 673930" data-attributes="member: 19617"><p>Brokenhearted,</p><p>You are reaching a good point of detachment. I had a similar eye opening moment when I first realized (as you did today) that I was losing any emotional feeling for my son. It was a strange feeling to realize I felt differently. I knew I didn’t need the stress and negative vibes around us and it could be making husband and me sick. I really felt like I did not want to even see my son anymore. (And I thought, “<em>I don’t like to feel this way about my own son, but I just do not like the person he is now. I don't want to be around him or think about him.”</em>) What I noticed was the big change in myself, as I’ve grown in detachment and released much of my emotional fear. I’ve came to feel that I no longer really even cared what was going to happen to him when he left my home. (<em>I did not like feeling this way about my own son. This was not like me. And it made me wonder, how could a mother feel this way, and will this feeling ever change back.)</em></p><p> </p><p></p><p>It was Tanya M., who replied to my post with a very comforting explanation, stating:</p><p>“It is very normal to have a lack of "feeling" when we get this point. We have become calloused, but not in a bad way. Just as a workers hands become calloused, that "hardening" of the skin actually protects the workers hands. Our hearts have been broken so many times by our Difficult Child that our hearts develop a callous, again, it's a way to protect us.”</p><p> </p><p></p><p>I like Tanya’s analogy, and it makes sense because the protective callous actually makes the worker more efficient and he can be more focused on the task without always wincing from the pain. This is the value of detachment.</p><p> </p><p>You are making progress on this path and journey. The folks here are with you. <em>You are going to be alright</em> -</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kalahou, post: 673930, member: 19617"] Brokenhearted, You are reaching a good point of detachment. I had a similar eye opening moment when I first realized (as you did today) that I was losing any emotional feeling for my son. It was a strange feeling to realize I felt differently. I knew I didn’t need the stress and negative vibes around us and it could be making husband and me sick. I really felt like I did not want to even see my son anymore. (And I thought, “[I]I don’t like to feel this way about my own son, but I just do not like the person he is now. I don't want to be around him or think about him.”[/I]) What I noticed was the big change in myself, as I’ve grown in detachment and released much of my emotional fear. I’ve came to feel that I no longer really even cared what was going to happen to him when he left my home. ([I]I did not like feeling this way about my own son. This was not like me. And it made me wonder, how could a mother feel this way, and will this feeling ever change back.)[/I] It was Tanya M., who replied to my post with a very comforting explanation, stating: “It is very normal to have a lack of "feeling" when we get this point. We have become calloused, but not in a bad way. Just as a workers hands become calloused, that "hardening" of the skin actually protects the workers hands. Our hearts have been broken so many times by our Difficult Child that our hearts develop a callous, again, it's a way to protect us.” I like Tanya’s analogy, and it makes sense because the protective callous actually makes the worker more efficient and he can be more focused on the task without always wincing from the pain. This is the value of detachment. You are making progress on this path and journey. The folks here are with you. [I]You are going to be alright[/I] - [/QUOTE]
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