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<blockquote data-quote="Hopeful97" data-source="post: 674399" data-attributes="member: 19678"><p>This is so very hard. I went to leave this morning and Difficult Child was sleeping in my truck. I made him get out of truck he says tell me why did you lie when you said I would always have a place at home. I do not recall saying that, I told him when he changes he may have a place here. Difficult Child said he has changed I told not from what I see, your posts on facebook, etc......Difficult Child said I'm not cussing at you. Difficult Child started crying said he is not going to be able to take a winter outside homeless and he was just going to kill himself and he was going on and on about being lied to and killing himself. I just said to Difficult Child im sorry and he would say something and i would say im sorry. Wow this is so hard to even write but I have to get it out. He then called and like an idiot I answered and Difficult Child says mom can you please give me a ride I just farted and it was the runs it's down my leg I said I cannot give you a ride I'm sorry, he starts really wow and hangs up. </p><p></p><p>I called my sister she gave good advice. Difficult Child was at my sisters house Saturday took a shower and ate, she will help him out occassionally. She told me yesterday she could see no change when he was at her house saturday. Back to this morning my sister said Difficult Child is going to tell you anything to get in the house, you have done everything you can, pleas do not let him back in your house, I told her I was not going to let Difficult Child in house. I told her I tried to tell Difficult Child about shelter where he could get help and he was crying and saying he couldn't take a homeless winter and he was going to kill himself. Sister said he is going to say anything to you to get to you she asked me to call police next time he comes around. </p><p></p><p>I guess I answered phone because I was so upset not really paying attention. </p><p></p><p>I was going to ask sister or my oldest son to tell Difficult Child about shelter where there is extra help for teens, but decided that it would probably do no good. Then I thought I could text Difficult Child with the info., bit decided against anymore contact, I will try to call police next time.</p><p></p><p>Older son called to check on things this morning, I explained what happened and I started crying. Older son said "mom do not let him in you are doing the right thing, this is going to be incredibly very very hard but I am here for you and dad and I am coming by after work."</p><p></p><p>I don't know if Difficult Child is really that distraught or just trying to get to me like my sister thinks. I know what it's like to be in that black hole and thinking no hope and only way out is suicide. I also no what it is like to lose someone close to suicide. I do not know what to do..... I do not want my Difficult Child to kill himself and yet I cannot help, that does not make any sense but it is true. Why do I feel like this is my fault?</p><p></p><p>Thank you for listening to an emotional mess this morning.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hopeful97, post: 674399, member: 19678"] This is so very hard. I went to leave this morning and Difficult Child was sleeping in my truck. I made him get out of truck he says tell me why did you lie when you said I would always have a place at home. I do not recall saying that, I told him when he changes he may have a place here. Difficult Child said he has changed I told not from what I see, your posts on facebook, etc......Difficult Child said I'm not cussing at you. Difficult Child started crying said he is not going to be able to take a winter outside homeless and he was just going to kill himself and he was going on and on about being lied to and killing himself. I just said to Difficult Child im sorry and he would say something and i would say im sorry. Wow this is so hard to even write but I have to get it out. He then called and like an idiot I answered and Difficult Child says mom can you please give me a ride I just farted and it was the runs it's down my leg I said I cannot give you a ride I'm sorry, he starts really wow and hangs up. I called my sister she gave good advice. Difficult Child was at my sisters house Saturday took a shower and ate, she will help him out occassionally. She told me yesterday she could see no change when he was at her house saturday. Back to this morning my sister said Difficult Child is going to tell you anything to get in the house, you have done everything you can, pleas do not let him back in your house, I told her I was not going to let Difficult Child in house. I told her I tried to tell Difficult Child about shelter where he could get help and he was crying and saying he couldn't take a homeless winter and he was going to kill himself. Sister said he is going to say anything to you to get to you she asked me to call police next time he comes around. I guess I answered phone because I was so upset not really paying attention. I was going to ask sister or my oldest son to tell Difficult Child about shelter where there is extra help for teens, but decided that it would probably do no good. Then I thought I could text Difficult Child with the info., bit decided against anymore contact, I will try to call police next time. Older son called to check on things this morning, I explained what happened and I started crying. Older son said "mom do not let him in you are doing the right thing, this is going to be incredibly very very hard but I am here for you and dad and I am coming by after work." I don't know if Difficult Child is really that distraught or just trying to get to me like my sister thinks. I know what it's like to be in that black hole and thinking no hope and only way out is suicide. I also no what it is like to lose someone close to suicide. I do not know what to do..... I do not want my Difficult Child to kill himself and yet I cannot help, that does not make any sense but it is true. Why do I feel like this is my fault? Thank you for listening to an emotional mess this morning. [/QUOTE]
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