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Brokenhearted
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 674421" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Hopeful,</p><p></p><p>I wanted to tell you I am sorry that I did not see your thread sooner, but belatedly want to say a few words of support.</p><p></p><p>You are doing everything right. The only thing I would do differently is make even greater distance until your and your husband's health stabilizes. </p><p></p><p>The lack of empathy seems characteristic of our children. I do not know if it is drugs or what. But it is typical. Do not take it personally.</p><p></p><p>If he speaks about suicide, call the police. He must learn that he cannot go there, without your taking it seriously. </p><p></p><p>What he is saying and doing is typical. My son did every one of these things. As long as they see their own power and possibility and productivity in you...outside of themselves...they will not change. Every single thing you do or say...to reinforce his responsibility for himself and his choices, helps him. Every single thing you say or do for him hurts him. </p><p></p><p>What he is doing is heartless and cruel in the effects. But I do not believe the intention is this. He is pulling out all of the stops so that you do not change...so that he will not have to. </p><p></p><p>Take care. Keep posting. We understand. We have lived it too.</p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 674421, member: 18958"] Hopeful, I wanted to tell you I am sorry that I did not see your thread sooner, but belatedly want to say a few words of support. You are doing everything right. The only thing I would do differently is make even greater distance until your and your husband's health stabilizes. The lack of empathy seems characteristic of our children. I do not know if it is drugs or what. But it is typical. Do not take it personally. If he speaks about suicide, call the police. He must learn that he cannot go there, without your taking it seriously. What he is saying and doing is typical. My son did every one of these things. As long as they see their own power and possibility and productivity in you...outside of themselves...they will not change. Every single thing you do or say...to reinforce his responsibility for himself and his choices, helps him. Every single thing you say or do for him hurts him. What he is doing is heartless and cruel in the effects. But I do not believe the intention is this. He is pulling out all of the stops so that you do not change...so that he will not have to. Take care. Keep posting. We understand. We have lived it too. COPA [/QUOTE]
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