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But I don't like your rules
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<blockquote data-quote="JJJ" data-source="post: 241225" data-attributes="member: 1169"><p>Allan,</p><p></p><p>We are doing all of that with her. Her current goal during visits is to spend 60 minutes talking with us without anger, lies or leaving the visit. During those 60 minutes we talk about anything <em>except</em> her issues - football, school, tv shows, etc. She also has a goal to have appropriate turn-taking conversations with her siblings at least once a week. She struggles greatly with these goals but with constant redirection we are seeing some small progress. During family therapy, she is suppose to be working on discussing her issues with us. Her therapist (and the therapist before this one) have both commented that husband and I do an excellent job of listening to her and trying to keep the conversations on track but that Kanga isn't ready yet to work with us on solutions, so we just keep trying.</p><p></p><p>Your solutions work well with my minor difficult children. We have had great progress with them doing exactly what you have described.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I know the problems don't disappear when they turn 18. That is why, if she is still violent at 18, she will be gone. There is a homeless shelter in the next town. If she is still violent in the time leading up to her 18th birthday, she will be told that she will be sleeping at the shelter on her 18th birthday. It may not be easy to force your child out of your home but when given the choice between enabling a violent child and protecting the younger 3, that decision is not hard at all.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JJJ, post: 241225, member: 1169"] Allan, We are doing all of that with her. Her current goal during visits is to spend 60 minutes talking with us without anger, lies or leaving the visit. During those 60 minutes we talk about anything [I]except[/I] her issues - football, school, tv shows, etc. She also has a goal to have appropriate turn-taking conversations with her siblings at least once a week. She struggles greatly with these goals but with constant redirection we are seeing some small progress. During family therapy, she is suppose to be working on discussing her issues with us. Her therapist (and the therapist before this one) have both commented that husband and I do an excellent job of listening to her and trying to keep the conversations on track but that Kanga isn't ready yet to work with us on solutions, so we just keep trying. Your solutions work well with my minor difficult children. We have had great progress with them doing exactly what you have described. I know the problems don't disappear when they turn 18. That is why, if she is still violent at 18, she will be gone. There is a homeless shelter in the next town. If she is still violent in the time leading up to her 18th birthday, she will be told that she will be sleeping at the shelter on her 18th birthday. It may not be easy to force your child out of your home but when given the choice between enabling a violent child and protecting the younger 3, that decision is not hard at all. [/QUOTE]
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