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Parent Emeritus
Calm before the storm
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 634333" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>An observation: Our son used his childhood (when responsibility for him was ours) to justify bad choices he made once he was a teen.</p><p></p><p>I believed him.</p><p></p><p>As I read here on the site, I realized that no matter how we had raised our difficult child kids...we all believed it was something about the way we had raised them -- some shortcoming on our parts -- that caused the difficult child to flounder and fail.</p><p></p><p>But how could so many people, all raising their kids differently, have failed in a way that made their difficult children treat them just like mine treated me?</p><p></p><p>Shortly after that, I realized my son was parroting back to me the very things that I felt guilty about, the things I thought I'd done wrong.</p><p></p><p>And then, I realized he did that because it worked.</p><p></p><p>He had probably thrown a thousand accusations at me.</p><p></p><p>The ones that hurt were the money payoffs.</p><p></p><p>Because of my guilt, they worked, everytime.</p><p></p><p>And I realized each of the parents here was being tormented in exactly the same way by her own child.</p><p></p><p>Because that is where the money is.</p><p></p><p>Addiction is a terrible thing.</p><p></p><p>Realizing what it's doing to our kids, we need to stand up.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 634333, member: 17461"] An observation: Our son used his childhood (when responsibility for him was ours) to justify bad choices he made once he was a teen. I believed him. As I read here on the site, I realized that no matter how we had raised our difficult child kids...we all believed it was something about the way we had raised them -- some shortcoming on our parts -- that caused the difficult child to flounder and fail. But how could so many people, all raising their kids differently, have failed in a way that made their difficult children treat them just like mine treated me? Shortly after that, I realized my son was parroting back to me the very things that I felt guilty about, the things I thought I'd done wrong. And then, I realized he did that because it worked. He had probably thrown a thousand accusations at me. The ones that hurt were the money payoffs. Because of my guilt, they worked, everytime. And I realized each of the parents here was being tormented in exactly the same way by her own child. Because that is where the money is. Addiction is a terrible thing. Realizing what it's doing to our kids, we need to stand up. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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