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Can love vanish at once?
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 655960" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Melanie.</p><p></p><p>:O)</p><p></p><p>I love Gone With the Wind, too. I've read it all my life, over and over again. Sometimes I love the strength and wildness of Scarlet, but I admire the Melanie character and believe, in my secret heart, that this is how all Southern ladies are.</p><p></p><p>I think you would enjoy ShoGun, by James Clavell, SWOT.</p><p></p><p>I think we do not fall out of love with our people. I think we stop believing in them.</p><p></p><p>That is what happened with my sister, I think. For such a long time, I believed about her what I wanted to. Now, I cannot seem to believe in the good in her, anymore. She looks ugly to me, now.</p><p></p><p>I feel tricked, but I guess it turns out I was tricking myself.</p><p></p><p>Huh.</p><p></p><p>With my kids, the thing I stopped believing in turned out to be my fantasy child. Or maybe, it was myself as the fantasy mom that I stopped believing was me. It was like I had stuffed both them and myself into this ready-made role. MAN, I ENJOYED BEING PERFECT WHILE IT LASTED! </p><p></p><p>I did.</p><p></p><p>I would trade all this wisdom and compassion for that "perfect" in a minute.</p><p></p><p>And we would all have dinner and the cloth and napkins would be white linen and there would be candles and a freaking centerpiece from FTD.</p><p></p><p>Ahem. There is that dinner theme again.</p><p></p><p>Too sad, too much pain; whoa, it was bad, to live the years between perfect and now.</p><p></p><p>I loved them enough, it was real enough underneath, that we seem to have survived what then happened to all of us.</p><p></p><p>It is what it is.</p><p></p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>Between mates, I think what I see is trust over time. I cherish and respect my D H for his judgment, for his unwavering choice of me again and again, for his belief in me. But we did not get here easily. We began it like everyone does. D H was like ~ I don't know. Irresistable to me. I think it is rare for a marriage to distill over time as ours has.</p><p></p><p>It is a living thing, to this day.</p><p></p><p>I am going to miss him.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 655960, member: 17461"] Melanie. :O) I love Gone With the Wind, too. I've read it all my life, over and over again. Sometimes I love the strength and wildness of Scarlet, but I admire the Melanie character and believe, in my secret heart, that this is how all Southern ladies are. I think you would enjoy ShoGun, by James Clavell, SWOT. I think we do not fall out of love with our people. I think we stop believing in them. That is what happened with my sister, I think. For such a long time, I believed about her what I wanted to. Now, I cannot seem to believe in the good in her, anymore. She looks ugly to me, now. I feel tricked, but I guess it turns out I was tricking myself. Huh. With my kids, the thing I stopped believing in turned out to be my fantasy child. Or maybe, it was myself as the fantasy mom that I stopped believing was me. It was like I had stuffed both them and myself into this ready-made role. MAN, I ENJOYED BEING PERFECT WHILE IT LASTED! I did. I would trade all this wisdom and compassion for that "perfect" in a minute. And we would all have dinner and the cloth and napkins would be white linen and there would be candles and a freaking centerpiece from FTD. Ahem. There is that dinner theme again. Too sad, too much pain; whoa, it was bad, to live the years between perfect and now. I loved them enough, it was real enough underneath, that we seem to have survived what then happened to all of us. It is what it is. *** Between mates, I think what I see is trust over time. I cherish and respect my D H for his judgment, for his unwavering choice of me again and again, for his belief in me. But we did not get here easily. We began it like everyone does. D H was like ~ I don't know. Irresistable to me. I think it is rare for a marriage to distill over time as ours has. It is a living thing, to this day. I am going to miss him. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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