Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Can we still judge as parents of a difficult child?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 152106"><p>I think you make a good point.</p><p>One reason I come here is to avoid the judgments out THERE.</p><p>Too many folks are clueless. That is spelled C L U E L E S S.</p><p>Now, I realize that SOMETIMES this is PARTIALLY due to the fact that I don't go around ANNOUNCING that our daughter is a difficult child. Sometimes folks figure this out on their own. Sometimes they are unsure. Sometimes they blame mom and dad. When difficult child was younger, this happened more often.</p><p> </p><p>I have similar issues with reference to my health. Ironically, even if I tell people the truth...they are slow to understand/accept and quick to think I am making it up or lying and it irks me to no end. Ironically, it backfires on me sometimes that I push very hard, put my makeup on and do a lot of juggling.</p><p> </p><p>I think having had a special needs child and having had chronic illness has helped me to understand that you really never know the private battles that people are experiencing and unless they personally are mean spirited and purposefully damaging to you, it is best to withhold judgment (although being with-o any bias at all is nearly impossible). I would draw the line at abuse in any, way, shape or form...but that would fall into the "mean" catagory (big time).</p><p> </p><p>I think we can OBSERVE that something is happening and not be happy with what we see, but it is best to withhold our feelings (judgment in particular) about it. Perhaps we are only seeing the surface of something or the tail end of something...</p><p> </p><p>I don't think this really is the same thing as standards. We can have standards and beliefs. </p><p>Ex: I might believe that it is the right thing to get to work on time. However, someone with a health problem might not have a top notch record. Perhaps this person will have a less than perfect record. If this is not satisfactory for all parties, other arrangements would have to be made. AND this person might want to compensate his/her employer in another way (working from home when able for example). I think it is best to understand that we are all unique invididuals and to it is best to "judge" a person first (and most importantly) by the content of his character (I think Martin Luther King said this...not sure), secondly by their actions and thirdly by their behavior when things go wrong and their attempts to make a correction.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 152106"] I think you make a good point. One reason I come here is to avoid the judgments out THERE. Too many folks are clueless. That is spelled C L U E L E S S. Now, I realize that SOMETIMES this is PARTIALLY due to the fact that I don't go around ANNOUNCING that our daughter is a difficult child. Sometimes folks figure this out on their own. Sometimes they are unsure. Sometimes they blame mom and dad. When difficult child was younger, this happened more often. I have similar issues with reference to my health. Ironically, even if I tell people the truth...they are slow to understand/accept and quick to think I am making it up or lying and it irks me to no end. Ironically, it backfires on me sometimes that I push very hard, put my makeup on and do a lot of juggling. I think having had a special needs child and having had chronic illness has helped me to understand that you really never know the private battles that people are experiencing and unless they personally are mean spirited and purposefully damaging to you, it is best to withhold judgment (although being with-o any bias at all is nearly impossible). I would draw the line at abuse in any, way, shape or form...but that would fall into the "mean" catagory (big time). I think we can OBSERVE that something is happening and not be happy with what we see, but it is best to withhold our feelings (judgment in particular) about it. Perhaps we are only seeing the surface of something or the tail end of something... I don't think this really is the same thing as standards. We can have standards and beliefs. Ex: I might believe that it is the right thing to get to work on time. However, someone with a health problem might not have a top notch record. Perhaps this person will have a less than perfect record. If this is not satisfactory for all parties, other arrangements would have to be made. AND this person might want to compensate his/her employer in another way (working from home when able for example). I think it is best to understand that we are all unique invididuals and to it is best to "judge" a person first (and most importantly) by the content of his character (I think Martin Luther King said this...not sure), secondly by their actions and thirdly by their behavior when things go wrong and their attempts to make a correction. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Can we still judge as parents of a difficult child?
Top