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Can we still judge as parents of a difficult child?
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<blockquote data-quote="witzend" data-source="post: 152261" data-attributes="member: 99"><p>A P.S.</p><p></p><p>A month or so ago I was in line at the Costco Pharmacy. It was seniors day, so the line was long, but that's to be expected.</p><p></p><p>In front of me was a woman who was about 35 years old. I didn't really pay that much attention to her until she yelled out to her son, "If you don't sit still I'm not going to give you any food." I looked over to where she was talking to, and there sat a little boy on a folding chair waiting for her to finish. He was about 8 - 9 years old. In my best estimate he weighed about 250 pounds. His feet did not touch the floor and his body hung over both sides of the chair. His reaction to her comment was to shrink down in his chair. He seemed humiliated. I was and remain judgmental about that encounter.</p><p></p><p>Why couldn't her son stand in line next to her and they could have some appropriate interaction? Children need to learn to stand patiently in line. Keeping a conversation about school or whatever going with them is a great way to do that.</p><p></p><p>What kind of mother of a morbidly obese child rewards or punishes her child's behavior with promises of food?</p><p></p><p>What kind of mother of a morbidly obese child calls the attention of 20 - 30 people to her morbidly obese child and his food rewards?</p><p></p><p>I thought and still think she is terribly misguided, and feel horribly sorry for that boy. I don't pretend to know why he is so heavy, but promises of food rewards and calling attention to his size in public are just not right. It's judgmental I'm sure. I doubt that many would disagree with my take on it if they saw it for themselves. I don't know that having been judged about my kids' behavior in a store or in school negates our ability to judge other kids and parents. It's just how life is.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="witzend, post: 152261, member: 99"] A P.S. A month or so ago I was in line at the Costco Pharmacy. It was seniors day, so the line was long, but that's to be expected. In front of me was a woman who was about 35 years old. I didn't really pay that much attention to her until she yelled out to her son, "If you don't sit still I'm not going to give you any food." I looked over to where she was talking to, and there sat a little boy on a folding chair waiting for her to finish. He was about 8 - 9 years old. In my best estimate he weighed about 250 pounds. His feet did not touch the floor and his body hung over both sides of the chair. His reaction to her comment was to shrink down in his chair. He seemed humiliated. I was and remain judgmental about that encounter. Why couldn't her son stand in line next to her and they could have some appropriate interaction? Children need to learn to stand patiently in line. Keeping a conversation about school or whatever going with them is a great way to do that. What kind of mother of a morbidly obese child rewards or punishes her child's behavior with promises of food? What kind of mother of a morbidly obese child calls the attention of 20 - 30 people to her morbidly obese child and his food rewards? I thought and still think she is terribly misguided, and feel horribly sorry for that boy. I don't pretend to know why he is so heavy, but promises of food rewards and calling attention to his size in public are just not right. It's judgmental I'm sure. I doubt that many would disagree with my take on it if they saw it for themselves. I don't know that having been judged about my kids' behavior in a store or in school negates our ability to judge other kids and parents. It's just how life is. [/QUOTE]
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Can we still judge as parents of a difficult child?
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