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Can we talk about jail?
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 614931" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Let him stay in jail. Past behavior dictates future behavior and your entire post is about how he has not availed himself to help, he lies, he has no remorse, you and your ex both feel he should stay.......follow your gut.</p><p></p><p>I faced the same situation 2 years ago with my adult daughter. After much soul searching and help on this site, I left her in jail. She made stupid choices to get out and as a result now has a record which she would not have had had she listened to the attorney. I didn't pay for anything at all except a little money on her "books" so she could buy toothpaste and better food. </p><p></p><p>Many of us here have been in your exact shoes and from what I've read, many if not most, leave the kid in jail. Sometimes they learn, often they don't. It isn't about jail, it's that most of our kids just won't make the choices that would in fact help them, they prefer to do things their own way, which is mostly against all reason and rules. I believe you are right to follow up on how YOU feel, you know him best and out here it sounds like he would be better off in jail.</p><p></p><p>Often we feel they are better off in jail, off the streets, warm, fed, and we can sleep at night knowing they are not out there freezing or being hurt. I don't think jail is pleasant at all, but your son got himself there, he should face the consequences of his behavior. That's real life.</p><p></p><p>The public defender has no idea what you already know about him, she is likely honestly trying to help. She may even judge you. We get that a lot here. But no one knows what we go through with our kids but those of us here or those of us dealing with troubled kids. </p><p></p><p>Your post sounds as if you really already know what to do, sounds as if you are seeking acknowledgement for what you already know to be the truth and the right thing to do. Let go and let him face what he created.</p><p></p><p>Sorry you have to even go through this, it's so hard on us to know what to do............but I think you are heading in the right direction.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 614931, member: 13542"] Let him stay in jail. Past behavior dictates future behavior and your entire post is about how he has not availed himself to help, he lies, he has no remorse, you and your ex both feel he should stay.......follow your gut. I faced the same situation 2 years ago with my adult daughter. After much soul searching and help on this site, I left her in jail. She made stupid choices to get out and as a result now has a record which she would not have had had she listened to the attorney. I didn't pay for anything at all except a little money on her "books" so she could buy toothpaste and better food. Many of us here have been in your exact shoes and from what I've read, many if not most, leave the kid in jail. Sometimes they learn, often they don't. It isn't about jail, it's that most of our kids just won't make the choices that would in fact help them, they prefer to do things their own way, which is mostly against all reason and rules. I believe you are right to follow up on how YOU feel, you know him best and out here it sounds like he would be better off in jail. Often we feel they are better off in jail, off the streets, warm, fed, and we can sleep at night knowing they are not out there freezing or being hurt. I don't think jail is pleasant at all, but your son got himself there, he should face the consequences of his behavior. That's real life. The public defender has no idea what you already know about him, she is likely honestly trying to help. She may even judge you. We get that a lot here. But no one knows what we go through with our kids but those of us here or those of us dealing with troubled kids. Your post sounds as if you really already know what to do, sounds as if you are seeking acknowledgement for what you already know to be the truth and the right thing to do. Let go and let him face what he created. Sorry you have to even go through this, it's so hard on us to know what to do............but I think you are heading in the right direction. [/QUOTE]
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Can we talk about jail?
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