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Can we talk about jail?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 615029" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>We parents of differently wired kids need to develop "rhino skin." That phrase was used a lot when I first came on here some ten years ago. I like it. We have to learn not to care what anyone thinks of our house, our possible parenting (the fantasy in their minds about us), or the idea that THEY could have have done better. Sure.</p><p></p><p>Most people are self-absorbed and not dwelling on your son for more than a minute at a time. They have their own lives, their own troubles (whether you can see them or not) and most people have the attention span of a fly with ADHD. No sooner do they think about you than they are thinking about something else. If it is your family who is bugging you, I strongly suggest setting boundaries and telling Mom or auntie or Cousin Lou or Uncle Roy that you prefer not to talk about difficult child so that if they are calling you to talk about him, you do not want to share what is going on with him. Then you can tell them that if they do bring him up, you will gently hang up the phone or quietly leave the room or even the house. They are not entitled to know about your child, especially if they criticize you. Nobody has a right to be unkind to you because of your son's choices.</p><p></p><p>There are very few acquaintances of mine who even know about 36. Since he lives in another state and never visits, no reason to confide in them about his issues. Not like they'd understand anyway. The few who know about him hear about him on my terms, when I feel like telling them, and these are people I know I can trust.</p><p></p><p>The only one who knows what went on in your house is yourself and your son. Let people make up whatever stories they want if it makes them feel better. If you think about it, why does it even matter?</p><p></p><p>Your friend who is a public defender must be very idealistic, have no understanding of the stuff your son is doing and must have money to burn...or think you do. He certainly doesn't have a difficult child child! I would hold fast and let your son suffer the natural consequences of breaking the law. </p><p></p><p>Hugs!!!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 615029, member: 1550"] We parents of differently wired kids need to develop "rhino skin." That phrase was used a lot when I first came on here some ten years ago. I like it. We have to learn not to care what anyone thinks of our house, our possible parenting (the fantasy in their minds about us), or the idea that THEY could have have done better. Sure. Most people are self-absorbed and not dwelling on your son for more than a minute at a time. They have their own lives, their own troubles (whether you can see them or not) and most people have the attention span of a fly with ADHD. No sooner do they think about you than they are thinking about something else. If it is your family who is bugging you, I strongly suggest setting boundaries and telling Mom or auntie or Cousin Lou or Uncle Roy that you prefer not to talk about difficult child so that if they are calling you to talk about him, you do not want to share what is going on with him. Then you can tell them that if they do bring him up, you will gently hang up the phone or quietly leave the room or even the house. They are not entitled to know about your child, especially if they criticize you. Nobody has a right to be unkind to you because of your son's choices. There are very few acquaintances of mine who even know about 36. Since he lives in another state and never visits, no reason to confide in them about his issues. Not like they'd understand anyway. The few who know about him hear about him on my terms, when I feel like telling them, and these are people I know I can trust. The only one who knows what went on in your house is yourself and your son. Let people make up whatever stories they want if it makes them feel better. If you think about it, why does it even matter? Your friend who is a public defender must be very idealistic, have no understanding of the stuff your son is doing and must have money to burn...or think you do. He certainly doesn't have a difficult child child! I would hold fast and let your son suffer the natural consequences of breaking the law. Hugs!!!! [/QUOTE]
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