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Can you help me with my son?
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<blockquote data-quote="ThreeShadows" data-source="post: 297032" data-attributes="member: 6370"><p>Shannon, My difficult children are adoptees. They are now 23 y.o.. I don't know if it would be okay with the board if I could get one of them to respond here. I don't know if they would even be willing.</p><p></p><p>difficult child 2 just got his original birth certificate, his bio father's name is not typed in in full. That has got to hurt. I deeply regret that, in an attempt to show them how much their bio mom cared for and loved them and how smart she was, I blurted out that she had refused to sign over her rights before he did because she was afraid he would attempt to make money out of the adoption. What the H*** was I thinking? They share 50% of his genes and I tell them (boys, yet!) that their creator was a crook!</p><p></p><p>This is just my clumsy way of telling you that I feel that not all truths should be said out loud. If I were in your shoes I would find him a counselor who is an adoption specialist. He needs to get beyond the status quo of blaming all his problems on the adoption.</p><p></p><p>As to his overspending, he might just be trying to fill the hole he feels inside. When he is able to see that Fate has not damned him he will find his own worth beyond material objects.</p><p></p><p>Recently, our adopted easy child revealed she wishes we had never told her she was not born into our family. I would love to take our children's pain away, I am not God, I can't do it, I can only give them the tools to find self-love.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ThreeShadows, post: 297032, member: 6370"] Shannon, My difficult children are adoptees. They are now 23 y.o.. I don't know if it would be okay with the board if I could get one of them to respond here. I don't know if they would even be willing. difficult child 2 just got his original birth certificate, his bio father's name is not typed in in full. That has got to hurt. I deeply regret that, in an attempt to show them how much their bio mom cared for and loved them and how smart she was, I blurted out that she had refused to sign over her rights before he did because she was afraid he would attempt to make money out of the adoption. What the H*** was I thinking? They share 50% of his genes and I tell them (boys, yet!) that their creator was a crook! This is just my clumsy way of telling you that I feel that not all truths should be said out loud. If I were in your shoes I would find him a counselor who is an adoption specialist. He needs to get beyond the status quo of blaming all his problems on the adoption. As to his overspending, he might just be trying to fill the hole he feels inside. When he is able to see that Fate has not damned him he will find his own worth beyond material objects. Recently, our adopted easy child revealed she wishes we had never told her she was not born into our family. I would love to take our children's pain away, I am not God, I can't do it, I can only give them the tools to find self-love. [/QUOTE]
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Can you help me with my son?
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