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cant get no help with my 4 yr old out of control
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<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 542132" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>Hi there! Welcome to our little world (not so little as you can see, many of us are in your shoes or have been!)</p><p></p><p>You are at the beginning of this journey (well probably feels like a thousand years to you!) but one thing probably everyone here will tell you is that it is so easy to doubt ourselves, so easy to listen to doctors and therapists and teachers who don't see the big picture that we see in our kids. Over time you will learn to truly trust that no professional, no matter their degree, knows more about your child than YOU DO! Trust your mommy gut, it does sound like your daughter has some challenges and I agree that she likely is not perceiving things as other kids do, so while she may seem rude, or defiant, or naughty, she may just be operating out of how her mind is thinking, I need X and this is how I get it. There are kids who can even tell you behavior rules and about manners but STILL can't do it themselves. </p><p></p><p>One thing that is pretty consistent, early help is most effective. For people to dismiss you is terrible in my opinion. I would make it very clear, do not ASK for an evaluation, call all around...children's hospitals, universities etc...to see if you can find a neuropsychologist that can assess a four year old child with developmental and behavioral challenges. Sometimes they will get the referral from your doctor themselves.....other times you need to go to the doctor or insurance and say, I want my child assessed here. If they come up with an equivalent person great but dont let them push you off to a typical family psychologist, they tend to only look at parent/child dynamics and not to say we can't always use parenting help, but the diagnosis can be skewed toward there being only parenting challenges so to get the neuropsychological evaluation first is often really helpful. </p><p></p><p>A neuropsychologist is a psychologist who has additional training and does really comprehensive evaluations. They will consider the losses your daughter has experienced, they will look at biological and mental health genetic histories, they know about neurology and can tell if there is a problem with her overall development or if there might be a childhood psychological disorder. It is well worth the investment in time and money if you are able, but it is expensive if insurance does not cover it and many of us would have a hard time, so if that is the case for you make sure to ask about payment options, any programs to help etc. There are other professionals and teams or clinics who do similar testing (for example a developmental pediatrician who may have a team of therapists to help assess), but the important thing is to make sure it is a comprehensive evaluation looking at motor, language, brain development/cognition, emotional development, social development, etc. A typical psychologist generally does not do this (of course there are rare exceptions).</p><p></p><p>I hope you can push this through, I totally believe you and your daughters behaviors and speech patterns are common for several disabilities so it is important to be what is called here a Warrior Mom, just let them know that if they are missing something when your gut is telling you there is something wrong, you will hold them accountable and you are documenting every single refusal to help find answers. </p><p></p><p>Not that you have to be ugly, just assertive! And for me, that has been a learned skill and at times I still dont fight hard enough... It is awful to ever look back and think I wish I would have fought harder. You are doing a tough job all by yourself. If at the end of an assessment they say she is fine and you just need some ideas, the GREAT but better safe than sorry. </p><p></p><p>In the mean time, check out those books and post here, many parents will have ideas for specific issues and will be able to relate to how your daughter responds to situations. You are not alone by any means. </p><p></p><p>Hugs, Dee</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 542132, member: 12886"] Hi there! Welcome to our little world (not so little as you can see, many of us are in your shoes or have been!) You are at the beginning of this journey (well probably feels like a thousand years to you!) but one thing probably everyone here will tell you is that it is so easy to doubt ourselves, so easy to listen to doctors and therapists and teachers who don't see the big picture that we see in our kids. Over time you will learn to truly trust that no professional, no matter their degree, knows more about your child than YOU DO! Trust your mommy gut, it does sound like your daughter has some challenges and I agree that she likely is not perceiving things as other kids do, so while she may seem rude, or defiant, or naughty, she may just be operating out of how her mind is thinking, I need X and this is how I get it. There are kids who can even tell you behavior rules and about manners but STILL can't do it themselves. One thing that is pretty consistent, early help is most effective. For people to dismiss you is terrible in my opinion. I would make it very clear, do not ASK for an evaluation, call all around...children's hospitals, universities etc...to see if you can find a neuropsychologist that can assess a four year old child with developmental and behavioral challenges. Sometimes they will get the referral from your doctor themselves.....other times you need to go to the doctor or insurance and say, I want my child assessed here. If they come up with an equivalent person great but dont let them push you off to a typical family psychologist, they tend to only look at parent/child dynamics and not to say we can't always use parenting help, but the diagnosis can be skewed toward there being only parenting challenges so to get the neuropsychological evaluation first is often really helpful. A neuropsychologist is a psychologist who has additional training and does really comprehensive evaluations. They will consider the losses your daughter has experienced, they will look at biological and mental health genetic histories, they know about neurology and can tell if there is a problem with her overall development or if there might be a childhood psychological disorder. It is well worth the investment in time and money if you are able, but it is expensive if insurance does not cover it and many of us would have a hard time, so if that is the case for you make sure to ask about payment options, any programs to help etc. There are other professionals and teams or clinics who do similar testing (for example a developmental pediatrician who may have a team of therapists to help assess), but the important thing is to make sure it is a comprehensive evaluation looking at motor, language, brain development/cognition, emotional development, social development, etc. A typical psychologist generally does not do this (of course there are rare exceptions). I hope you can push this through, I totally believe you and your daughters behaviors and speech patterns are common for several disabilities so it is important to be what is called here a Warrior Mom, just let them know that if they are missing something when your gut is telling you there is something wrong, you will hold them accountable and you are documenting every single refusal to help find answers. Not that you have to be ugly, just assertive! And for me, that has been a learned skill and at times I still dont fight hard enough... It is awful to ever look back and think I wish I would have fought harder. You are doing a tough job all by yourself. If at the end of an assessment they say she is fine and you just need some ideas, the GREAT but better safe than sorry. In the mean time, check out those books and post here, many parents will have ideas for specific issues and will be able to relate to how your daughter responds to situations. You are not alone by any means. Hugs, Dee [/QUOTE]
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cant get no help with my 4 yr old out of control
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