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Caught between two difficult child generations
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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 535873" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>I'm going to guess the psychotic addict is your mother? </p><p></p><p>If so, detachment is in order. Sure, she's your mom and all that, but she's also a grown adult whom you have no control over. You <strong>do</strong> have control over what boundaries you put into place, and what behavior you <strong>will</strong> and <strong>will not</strong> tolerate from her. It's not easy by a long shot having a difficult child as a parent. But at this point you have to realize that you're an adult and that you do have control over yourself and your own life. Just because she's your mom, family, doesn't mean you have to put up with unacceptable behavior. </p><p></p><p>As for your son.......I come from a family full of mental illness. I have 2 difficult children myself, 3 if you count the eldest step difficult child. Genetics are what they are, not much you can do about them. It's a random shuffle. You could've just as easily wound up with all difficult children or all pcs. </p><p></p><p>We as parents of difficult children must remember while in the midst of chaos and stress and hectic schedules..........to take the time, even if it can only be like 15 mins, for ourselves each day to do something relaxing for US. Doesn't have to be something huge, could be taking a walk, soaking in the tub........could be lunch with a friend, going into your room to read a book. </p><p></p><p>We get so caught up in caring for everyone else's needs that we tend to forget to make certain our own are being met..........and it takes it's toll rapidly because we're not super human, we're just human, and Mom's need some down time too. My kids bedtime was 7pm until Jr High. One reason was simply because Mom need downtime before bed to relax so I could go to sleep. </p><p></p><p>If it gets overwhelming, some moms need to find a therapist in real life to go talk to and just let it all pour out without being judged. While we here at the board do our best, sometimes it's just not like having that in person feed back. </p><p></p><p>(((hugs)))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 535873, member: 84"] I'm going to guess the psychotic addict is your mother? If so, detachment is in order. Sure, she's your mom and all that, but she's also a grown adult whom you have no control over. You [B]do[/B] have control over what boundaries you put into place, and what behavior you [B]will[/B] and [B]will not[/B] tolerate from her. It's not easy by a long shot having a difficult child as a parent. But at this point you have to realize that you're an adult and that you do have control over yourself and your own life. Just because she's your mom, family, doesn't mean you have to put up with unacceptable behavior. As for your son.......I come from a family full of mental illness. I have 2 difficult children myself, 3 if you count the eldest step difficult child. Genetics are what they are, not much you can do about them. It's a random shuffle. You could've just as easily wound up with all difficult children or all pcs. We as parents of difficult children must remember while in the midst of chaos and stress and hectic schedules..........to take the time, even if it can only be like 15 mins, for ourselves each day to do something relaxing for US. Doesn't have to be something huge, could be taking a walk, soaking in the tub........could be lunch with a friend, going into your room to read a book. We get so caught up in caring for everyone else's needs that we tend to forget to make certain our own are being met..........and it takes it's toll rapidly because we're not super human, we're just human, and Mom's need some down time too. My kids bedtime was 7pm until Jr High. One reason was simply because Mom need downtime before bed to relax so I could go to sleep. If it gets overwhelming, some moms need to find a therapist in real life to go talk to and just let it all pour out without being judged. While we here at the board do our best, sometimes it's just not like having that in person feed back. (((hugs))) [/QUOTE]
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