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Caught between two difficult child generations
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<blockquote data-quote="firehorsewoman" data-source="post: 536519"><p>Thanks Recoveringenabler for your kind words and support and mostly for your "mother's heart." I could use that more than anything now. I know what you say is true. I do need to put the focus on me but that is so hard for us to do isn't it? I have experienced a ton of health problems over the past five years...many of which continue. So yes, I have come to the same conclusion that you have. I quit my full-time job in January (totally freaked the ex out and a point of contention between us even though I have not missed one child support payment) because it was killing me and I have the medical bills to prove it. I gave up a steady paycheck and health insurance for me and the kids (have COBRA until next year) because I knew that I had no choice. I just wish that I could stick to my plan of taking better care of myself. Originally I told myself that I was taking 6-12 months off regardless of my financial situation. I am so tired of the commuting, long work hours and dealing with the ex and difficult child. I was falling apart mentally and physically so I did stick to that plan in March when I only worked three days the entire month....then the financial worries got to me. So in April I started doing contract work which has brought a different set of stress with the inconsistent pay, hours, and the IRS taking a bigger chunk of what I make. Still, I feel much better than I did dealing with the daily stress of my former job. </p><p></p><p>Yes, you are right. I know that you are. In fact I even know what I need....a long break from my profession but I am too afraid to suffer the consequences financially since I have no one at all to fall back on. I also need a change of scenery but feel paralyzed and won't leave town. In the meantime I am sleeping more, reading the self-compassion books and taking it one day at a time. Trying not to worry too much. I just wish I had the courage to do what I really need and take more than a month off. </p><p></p><p>thanks again</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="firehorsewoman, post: 536519"] Thanks Recoveringenabler for your kind words and support and mostly for your "mother's heart." I could use that more than anything now. I know what you say is true. I do need to put the focus on me but that is so hard for us to do isn't it? I have experienced a ton of health problems over the past five years...many of which continue. So yes, I have come to the same conclusion that you have. I quit my full-time job in January (totally freaked the ex out and a point of contention between us even though I have not missed one child support payment) because it was killing me and I have the medical bills to prove it. I gave up a steady paycheck and health insurance for me and the kids (have COBRA until next year) because I knew that I had no choice. I just wish that I could stick to my plan of taking better care of myself. Originally I told myself that I was taking 6-12 months off regardless of my financial situation. I am so tired of the commuting, long work hours and dealing with the ex and difficult child. I was falling apart mentally and physically so I did stick to that plan in March when I only worked three days the entire month....then the financial worries got to me. So in April I started doing contract work which has brought a different set of stress with the inconsistent pay, hours, and the IRS taking a bigger chunk of what I make. Still, I feel much better than I did dealing with the daily stress of my former job. Yes, you are right. I know that you are. In fact I even know what I need....a long break from my profession but I am too afraid to suffer the consequences financially since I have no one at all to fall back on. I also need a change of scenery but feel paralyzed and won't leave town. In the meantime I am sleeping more, reading the self-compassion books and taking it one day at a time. Trying not to worry too much. I just wish I had the courage to do what I really need and take more than a month off. thanks again [/QUOTE]
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