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Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Cel phone... enabling or controlling?
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 519992"><p>I agree with everything you say. I think detachment is necessary for you right now... you need to keep your own sanity for you and the others you love. She has to find your own way.</p><p></p><p>I think the analogy of the drugs being their primary relationship is a good one. Because if someone is invovled with someone their parents really disapprove of, often (usually) what happens is they reject the parents not the person they are invovled with. However drugs is different in that you cant show approval for drug use, whereas with a boyfriend you can keep quiet or fake it to some extent. But I think you are right.... she is uncomfortable with your disapproval of her current life choices and so it is hard to be around you because you don't like what she is doing. And that probably makes her angry because she feels she should be able to do what she wants and you should support her no matter what... again addicts thinking.</p><p></p><p>And every time she relapses you lose yet more trust in her and it will take longer and more for you to open your heart again. I so feel for you.... and am hoping against hope I don't end up in the same place but know very well that there is a good chance I will.</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 519992"] I agree with everything you say. I think detachment is necessary for you right now... you need to keep your own sanity for you and the others you love. She has to find your own way. I think the analogy of the drugs being their primary relationship is a good one. Because if someone is invovled with someone their parents really disapprove of, often (usually) what happens is they reject the parents not the person they are invovled with. However drugs is different in that you cant show approval for drug use, whereas with a boyfriend you can keep quiet or fake it to some extent. But I think you are right.... she is uncomfortable with your disapproval of her current life choices and so it is hard to be around you because you don't like what she is doing. And that probably makes her angry because she feels she should be able to do what she wants and you should support her no matter what... again addicts thinking. And every time she relapses you lose yet more trust in her and it will take longer and more for you to open your heart again. I so feel for you.... and am hoping against hope I don't end up in the same place but know very well that there is a good chance I will. TL [/QUOTE]
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Substance Abuse
Cel phone... enabling or controlling?
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