Dear New Leaf
I am thrilled to hear from you. I have thought of you often. Our situation is the same. Only worse. I have had periods of well-being but I also fall back. I am in one of the "falling back" places. What gets me there is I keep thinking "one more chance," will help him to connect with the desire for healing and for change. I keep hoping that "loving him" will awaken love in him. And it never ever works that way. I have for a long time known that. But somewhere in my deepest heart, I won't accept.
Welcome to my world.
I am so sorry that you have been ill and are still suffering. What a surprise that you plan to retire! I am happy for you. I guess I am where you are on better days, which for a long while has been most days. My bad days now are when my son is near. How horrible to have to write that.
It has been many years now, New Leaf, that we have been together. You sound so very strong and connected to the best in life and to the best in you. I am seeking the same. Praying for healing.
Love, Copa
