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Check the IEP and Student File!!!
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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 143125" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>She's right- in our case, I can't begin to tell you how much has been inaccurate, inconsistent, and some blatant lying. And it can be very detrimental. One incident was reported to me as "careless, unsafe, joking around" when difficult child cut someone else's paper with an exacto knife in art. What made it to his record - "slashing papers that the teacher had carefully made to help the students." And another- he was rough housing on bus with friends- got too rough and out of hand and hit girl (that he is friends with) and then she hit him back (they are still friends). Of course this is wrong and I don't condone it. How did it get reported in record- "punching on a girl."</p><p></p><p>I guess there are parents who don't punish there kids and let them do whatever they want. Maybe the school thinks that of me. However, I would back up any reasonable punishment for what he does wrong. It is the incidents, time and time again, where a "normal misbehavior" gets turned into a nightmare with a punishment way out of proportion and a documented record that completely mis-portrays what happened that leaves me no other choice but to take his defense rather than working together to teach him a lesson. Case in point- 2nd or 3rd grade, cub scouts gives him a green or yellow plastic squirt gun as a reward at a meeting around 9:00 one night. Since the meeting had run late and difficult child needed to get in bed, I just told him put the squirt gun aside and get some sleep. Next day at school, he has big suspension with documented record of "brought look-a-like weapon" to school. Really, I would never have permitted him to take the thing to school and would have backed up a write-up and punishment that was in proportion for a kid who broke a rule, but I had to take issue with his record saying he brought a look a like weapon with no explanation or clarification.</p><p></p><p>I could go on and on. I'll only add that when I got a copy of his complete school records, I also found where my letters to them clarifying or correcting things were not included and they were documenting (the parts that helped their case- not everything) phone calls, etc. of mine with notes like "tried to communicate with mother...".</p><p></p><p>It is more than a little obvious that their position is "their way or no way" and your kid is out of there if you rock the boat. At least in this school district. Most of this happened before difficult child was even on an IEP and I can't help but wonder if he would have had the initial depression and resulting legal charges at school and mania if the school had handled things differently. The zero tolerance theory , I think, means that they expect these kids to be perfect, as much as, if not moreso, than adults. They don't look at it like kids are there to learn how to make it in society- they expect them to already know.</p><p></p><p>Just my 2 cents- with another little vent!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 143125, member: 3699"] She's right- in our case, I can't begin to tell you how much has been inaccurate, inconsistent, and some blatant lying. And it can be very detrimental. One incident was reported to me as "careless, unsafe, joking around" when difficult child cut someone else's paper with an exacto knife in art. What made it to his record - "slashing papers that the teacher had carefully made to help the students." And another- he was rough housing on bus with friends- got too rough and out of hand and hit girl (that he is friends with) and then she hit him back (they are still friends). Of course this is wrong and I don't condone it. How did it get reported in record- "punching on a girl." I guess there are parents who don't punish there kids and let them do whatever they want. Maybe the school thinks that of me. However, I would back up any reasonable punishment for what he does wrong. It is the incidents, time and time again, where a "normal misbehavior" gets turned into a nightmare with a punishment way out of proportion and a documented record that completely mis-portrays what happened that leaves me no other choice but to take his defense rather than working together to teach him a lesson. Case in point- 2nd or 3rd grade, cub scouts gives him a green or yellow plastic squirt gun as a reward at a meeting around 9:00 one night. Since the meeting had run late and difficult child needed to get in bed, I just told him put the squirt gun aside and get some sleep. Next day at school, he has big suspension with documented record of "brought look-a-like weapon" to school. Really, I would never have permitted him to take the thing to school and would have backed up a write-up and punishment that was in proportion for a kid who broke a rule, but I had to take issue with his record saying he brought a look a like weapon with no explanation or clarification. I could go on and on. I'll only add that when I got a copy of his complete school records, I also found where my letters to them clarifying or correcting things were not included and they were documenting (the parts that helped their case- not everything) phone calls, etc. of mine with notes like "tried to communicate with mother...". It is more than a little obvious that their position is "their way or no way" and your kid is out of there if you rock the boat. At least in this school district. Most of this happened before difficult child was even on an IEP and I can't help but wonder if he would have had the initial depression and resulting legal charges at school and mania if the school had handled things differently. The zero tolerance theory , I think, means that they expect these kids to be perfect, as much as, if not moreso, than adults. They don't look at it like kids are there to learn how to make it in society- they expect them to already know. Just my 2 cents- with another little vent!! [/QUOTE]
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