((HUGS)) to you Esri,
I very rarely hear from my son and when I do it's because he wants something. I let go a long time ago the notion that he and I would have a good relationship.
It's a greiving process, while it's not a physical death you are mourning the loss of the child you used to know. It's good to allow yourself to let go of what was, otherwise you can get stuck.
If it were easy we wouldn't need forums like this. The fact that you are aware of what you need to do is a good place to start. Again, it's a process, it takes time.
Hang in there, you will get through this.
