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Child envy
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 425348" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Hi ya! </p><p> </p><p>You know I think at one time or another we've all felt that way. Not just you - them too. Humans as a whole are jealous people. It takes a long, hard walk, down a very long, hard road before we really figure out how entirely lucky we are as people, as humans, as Mothers, as daughters, as friends, as wives, just to be, just not to be. One of my favorite sayings in the world used to be "I cried becuase I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet." My Mom used to tell us that when we were younger and cried about things we didn't have. I thought I got it then, but it wasn't until I was much older that I really and truly realized what that meant. I couldn't relate completely to the depth of it's wisdome because until I got older? I coudln't possibly relate to not having [feet] or loss in my life. </p><p> </p><p>Lots of things we feel we have lost in our everyday lives? (shrug) We shouldn't really count as loss. We should count as experience. Personally I've had an incredibly life. To ask me that as a child? I would have answered you differently. I would have told you my life stunk. I had a hard life. I had a life that started out being thrown away, misunderstood, never accepted, bullied and it never seemed to get any better. I had a hard life. I got married to a man that tortured me, mistreated me, gave me a son who was a difficult child, and he had a hard life. People didn't accept us - and I would sit and think about all the people that shuned us over the years and their wonderful houses, and their awesome families, and their great cars, money they had, nice clothes, friends, and how we were treated, or not treated. We weren't any different. We had manners, we were nice, we were smart. And you know what? The ones I feel the most sorry for now? Is them. </p><p> </p><p>They had ALL of that - the great homes, the lovely trips, the cars, the cash - the clothes, everything that we seemingly didn't and they still had problems. But their problems were so small, so petty, so insignificant? That I thought one day as I sat in a group of these women playing Bunco - WHAT in the WORLD would you ever do if you had a problem like MINE? O.M.Gosh and then? It hit me - They couldn't. They couldn't handle anything I could. The life I had been given was mine, and I was given the strength to deal with it - apparently so because Im' here to tell YOU about it. And money and riches sure didn't have anything to do with it. I mean they had all that - and couldn't handle SIMPLE things. WHAT in the world would they ever do with a day in the life of ME? That got me to thinking. What it made me think about was interesting. </p><p> </p><p>The friends that left us because of my sons behaviors? Weren't really freinds. So why would I want them around? They weren't true friends - true friends are there no matter what. So good riddance. Technically my son cut the good ones from the herd. The house I lived in? Maybe not a mansion, but it was ours. Things weren't always going to be like this and we do love each other. Was I worried about a A or a B-? NOoo but I celebrated when we got him to just GO to school. We learned how to appreciate really small things. Like peaceful days, quiet days, the words I LOVE YOU MOM - REALLY, REALLY mean something to us - they aren't just an UH HUH - out of the car pool lane, those words when we hear them as CD Moms can literally make US cry - because we don't get them all the time - So our ears are more tuned not to overlook things, Pictures, handdrawn notes that say I love you - or just something as kind as our kids taking out the trash - I'll never forget that when a Mom here wrote - SHE TOOK OUT THE TRASH - when was the last time a Mom in the other world was overjoyed for that - WE APPRECIATE THE SMALLEST KINDNESS not just from our kids - but from everyone - kids, adults - everyday people....because we get worn to a frazzle - and kind means more. And tears? We cry - we cry a LOT - and when we are out - and see another person crying? Does it mean more to us - that someone is hurting? Probably so. Do you think you'd be more apt to put a hand on a tearful Moms shoulder than say a Mom of a batch of easy child kids who complains about tiddly stuff? Possibly. </p><p> </p><p>So while you are sitting there berating yourself for your jealousy I want you to take into consideration this fact - I don't consider what you are going through as a jealousy as much as it is an awareness - to metamorphasis. You're changing. You're becoming more aware of others selfishness, greed, lazyness.....and it's okay. You're becoming a better you. That can't be wrong. The better you beome? The more you can help others. The more empathetic and sympathetic you will become to people like those parents. </p><p> </p><p>Eventually? You'll listen with your keen ears and think - WHAT do I have to complain about today? My Gosh - there are babies laying in the hospital today with cancer, there is a Mother who just lost her son In Afghanistan that is fighting for MY FAMILIES freedom. There is a Man over there in the cemetery who just buried his wife of 50 years, and a Mother who just lost her son in a car accident - and all of a sudden those other problems just don't seem so big. Then you go home, and deal with your own child - and those problems are REAL, and THERE, and they are HUGE - because they are YOURS.....and you forget about everyone elses problems, and realize the ones that matter are right there - and that you are tough enough to deal with them because someone knew EXACTLY what they were doing when they gave you THAT child to parent. You are excatly where you are supposed to be. Becoming exactly who you are supposed to become. Just a Mom, doing the best she can.....everday. With friends who care a great deal enough to tell her - You're doing just fine. </p><p> </p><p>Hugs & Love </p><p>Star</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p><span style="color: purple"><em>Don't wish it were easier; wish you were better. Don't wish for fewer problems; wish fore more skills. Don't wish for less challenges; wish for more wisdom.</em></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 425348, member: 4964"] Hi ya! You know I think at one time or another we've all felt that way. Not just you - them too. Humans as a whole are jealous people. It takes a long, hard walk, down a very long, hard road before we really figure out how entirely lucky we are as people, as humans, as Mothers, as daughters, as friends, as wives, just to be, just not to be. One of my favorite sayings in the world used to be "I cried becuase I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet." My Mom used to tell us that when we were younger and cried about things we didn't have. I thought I got it then, but it wasn't until I was much older that I really and truly realized what that meant. I couldn't relate completely to the depth of it's wisdome because until I got older? I coudln't possibly relate to not having [feet] or loss in my life. Lots of things we feel we have lost in our everyday lives? (shrug) We shouldn't really count as loss. We should count as experience. Personally I've had an incredibly life. To ask me that as a child? I would have answered you differently. I would have told you my life stunk. I had a hard life. I had a life that started out being thrown away, misunderstood, never accepted, bullied and it never seemed to get any better. I had a hard life. I got married to a man that tortured me, mistreated me, gave me a son who was a difficult child, and he had a hard life. People didn't accept us - and I would sit and think about all the people that shuned us over the years and their wonderful houses, and their awesome families, and their great cars, money they had, nice clothes, friends, and how we were treated, or not treated. We weren't any different. We had manners, we were nice, we were smart. And you know what? The ones I feel the most sorry for now? Is them. They had ALL of that - the great homes, the lovely trips, the cars, the cash - the clothes, everything that we seemingly didn't and they still had problems. But their problems were so small, so petty, so insignificant? That I thought one day as I sat in a group of these women playing Bunco - WHAT in the WORLD would you ever do if you had a problem like MINE? O.M.Gosh and then? It hit me - They couldn't. They couldn't handle anything I could. The life I had been given was mine, and I was given the strength to deal with it - apparently so because Im' here to tell YOU about it. And money and riches sure didn't have anything to do with it. I mean they had all that - and couldn't handle SIMPLE things. WHAT in the world would they ever do with a day in the life of ME? That got me to thinking. What it made me think about was interesting. The friends that left us because of my sons behaviors? Weren't really freinds. So why would I want them around? They weren't true friends - true friends are there no matter what. So good riddance. Technically my son cut the good ones from the herd. The house I lived in? Maybe not a mansion, but it was ours. Things weren't always going to be like this and we do love each other. Was I worried about a A or a B-? NOoo but I celebrated when we got him to just GO to school. We learned how to appreciate really small things. Like peaceful days, quiet days, the words I LOVE YOU MOM - REALLY, REALLY mean something to us - they aren't just an UH HUH - out of the car pool lane, those words when we hear them as CD Moms can literally make US cry - because we don't get them all the time - So our ears are more tuned not to overlook things, Pictures, handdrawn notes that say I love you - or just something as kind as our kids taking out the trash - I'll never forget that when a Mom here wrote - SHE TOOK OUT THE TRASH - when was the last time a Mom in the other world was overjoyed for that - WE APPRECIATE THE SMALLEST KINDNESS not just from our kids - but from everyone - kids, adults - everyday people....because we get worn to a frazzle - and kind means more. And tears? We cry - we cry a LOT - and when we are out - and see another person crying? Does it mean more to us - that someone is hurting? Probably so. Do you think you'd be more apt to put a hand on a tearful Moms shoulder than say a Mom of a batch of easy child kids who complains about tiddly stuff? Possibly. So while you are sitting there berating yourself for your jealousy I want you to take into consideration this fact - I don't consider what you are going through as a jealousy as much as it is an awareness - to metamorphasis. You're changing. You're becoming more aware of others selfishness, greed, lazyness.....and it's okay. You're becoming a better you. That can't be wrong. The better you beome? The more you can help others. The more empathetic and sympathetic you will become to people like those parents. Eventually? You'll listen with your keen ears and think - WHAT do I have to complain about today? My Gosh - there are babies laying in the hospital today with cancer, there is a Mother who just lost her son In Afghanistan that is fighting for MY FAMILIES freedom. There is a Man over there in the cemetery who just buried his wife of 50 years, and a Mother who just lost her son in a car accident - and all of a sudden those other problems just don't seem so big. Then you go home, and deal with your own child - and those problems are REAL, and THERE, and they are HUGE - because they are YOURS.....and you forget about everyone elses problems, and realize the ones that matter are right there - and that you are tough enough to deal with them because someone knew EXACTLY what they were doing when they gave you THAT child to parent. You are excatly where you are supposed to be. Becoming exactly who you are supposed to become. Just a Mom, doing the best she can.....everday. With friends who care a great deal enough to tell her - You're doing just fine. Hugs & Love Star [COLOR=purple][I]Don't wish it were easier; wish you were better. Don't wish for fewer problems; wish fore more skills. Don't wish for less challenges; wish for more wisdom.[/I][/COLOR] [/QUOTE]
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