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Child support question - after 18
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<blockquote data-quote="Mattsmom277" data-source="post: 308158" data-attributes="member: 4264"><p>I don't know the law where you are, there are good ideas here, I think a lawyer would be his best step is he wanted to follow through. </p><p>The thing is, I wonder if he is just talking on a whim, due to his friend getting that pretty looking cheque. That would get most kids brains in a twist, wondering how they too can have that money. Then comes that anger most kids have at the absent parent who has not been there in any capacity.</p><p>Matt's biodad is right now living here in town. first time since difficult child was little. He has an astounding amount of arrears owed to me. He NEVER pays me. It is a enforced support order, so he for 16 years has been not allowed a license, to buy or sell a car, buy or sell any property. He cannot get a credit card. He cannot get a bank loan, or a mortgage. Nothing at all until he pays those arrears. I could have him jailed until he ups the name of his employer. But then, I learned his employer name. I didn't bother passing that name along as he would simply be informed of a garnishment of his salary (here they can take 60&#37; of all wages for back support) and would change jobs. Why waste my time? </p><p>Anyhow, the amount has snowballed. Biodad a few times had his mother (wimp) contact me to ask "nicely" that since I don't enforce the order anyhow, why don't I sign off on any claim to the back support and drop the support order for ongoing support? Umm ... NOPE! If he wants to spend his life with no car, home, credit etc? His choice. My choice to not enforce the order and have him jailed. Aren't I nice <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /> ? I have told her each time its his problem, not mine. I'm not dropping it. The idiot thought that when difficult child turned 18 that the arrears go away. HAHA. Nope. They stick around, gathering interest (alot of interest over past 16 years!) and limiting his entire life. The entire time he has been well and gainfully employed and more than able to pay the support payments. He's actually lucky I didn't go to court to adjust the amount to higher several times through the years as his salary increased. </p><p>Anyhow. difficult child is getting older. He's got a bee in his bonnet lately about his dad being "such a deadbeat". I've refused every time he's asked me to take his father to court over the support. Actually it was difficult child's sleuthing that has kept me informed of each new company when he changes jobs. So difficult child has decided if I don't take his dad to court, it would feel good for HIM to take him to court. He talks about it often. I've given him the information on how to report his dads earnings. I've given him information on the local free legal clinic that would help him. I've offered that if he wanted the money he was welcome to get legal help and if he was going to receive a court order that I would give up my claim to the money in order that difficult child get it directly himself. </p><p>Funny thing. Despite all his blustering, its far too much work for my couch loving difficult child. He sure gets right talkative (and angry) when he talks about the fact that his father has done nothing for him. I don't blame difficult child one bit for feeling that way. I just know that difficult child is using this an outlet to express his hurt and feelings about his father being so absent in all areas of his life, not just financial. Its easier for my difficult child to wax philosophical about sticking it to dad where he figures it would hurt dad most (In the pocketbook) than being honest that he still feels hurt and pain and resentment at his father never having been interested in being a father.</p><p>Any chance this is happening with Dude? That he has his own emotions about his bio idiots role in Dude's life as "Man who wasn't there, didn't care, was a danger, a threat, a deadbeat, the monster in the closet of his childhood"? And maybe those emotions are leading Dude to think revenge would work best here in a financial sense?? If thats the case, I'm betting Dude wouldn't go ahead even if he could.</p><p>And I truly believe Dude wouldn't want you at risk of this man entering your life to mess it up anymore than he has in the past.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mattsmom277, post: 308158, member: 4264"] I don't know the law where you are, there are good ideas here, I think a lawyer would be his best step is he wanted to follow through. The thing is, I wonder if he is just talking on a whim, due to his friend getting that pretty looking cheque. That would get most kids brains in a twist, wondering how they too can have that money. Then comes that anger most kids have at the absent parent who has not been there in any capacity. Matt's biodad is right now living here in town. first time since difficult child was little. He has an astounding amount of arrears owed to me. He NEVER pays me. It is a enforced support order, so he for 16 years has been not allowed a license, to buy or sell a car, buy or sell any property. He cannot get a credit card. He cannot get a bank loan, or a mortgage. Nothing at all until he pays those arrears. I could have him jailed until he ups the name of his employer. But then, I learned his employer name. I didn't bother passing that name along as he would simply be informed of a garnishment of his salary (here they can take 60% of all wages for back support) and would change jobs. Why waste my time? Anyhow, the amount has snowballed. Biodad a few times had his mother (wimp) contact me to ask "nicely" that since I don't enforce the order anyhow, why don't I sign off on any claim to the back support and drop the support order for ongoing support? Umm ... NOPE! If he wants to spend his life with no car, home, credit etc? His choice. My choice to not enforce the order and have him jailed. Aren't I nice ;) ? I have told her each time its his problem, not mine. I'm not dropping it. The idiot thought that when difficult child turned 18 that the arrears go away. HAHA. Nope. They stick around, gathering interest (alot of interest over past 16 years!) and limiting his entire life. The entire time he has been well and gainfully employed and more than able to pay the support payments. He's actually lucky I didn't go to court to adjust the amount to higher several times through the years as his salary increased. Anyhow. difficult child is getting older. He's got a bee in his bonnet lately about his dad being "such a deadbeat". I've refused every time he's asked me to take his father to court over the support. Actually it was difficult child's sleuthing that has kept me informed of each new company when he changes jobs. So difficult child has decided if I don't take his dad to court, it would feel good for HIM to take him to court. He talks about it often. I've given him the information on how to report his dads earnings. I've given him information on the local free legal clinic that would help him. I've offered that if he wanted the money he was welcome to get legal help and if he was going to receive a court order that I would give up my claim to the money in order that difficult child get it directly himself. Funny thing. Despite all his blustering, its far too much work for my couch loving difficult child. He sure gets right talkative (and angry) when he talks about the fact that his father has done nothing for him. I don't blame difficult child one bit for feeling that way. I just know that difficult child is using this an outlet to express his hurt and feelings about his father being so absent in all areas of his life, not just financial. Its easier for my difficult child to wax philosophical about sticking it to dad where he figures it would hurt dad most (In the pocketbook) than being honest that he still feels hurt and pain and resentment at his father never having been interested in being a father. Any chance this is happening with Dude? That he has his own emotions about his bio idiots role in Dude's life as "Man who wasn't there, didn't care, was a danger, a threat, a deadbeat, the monster in the closet of his childhood"? And maybe those emotions are leading Dude to think revenge would work best here in a financial sense?? If thats the case, I'm betting Dude wouldn't go ahead even if he could. And I truly believe Dude wouldn't want you at risk of this man entering your life to mess it up anymore than he has in the past. [/QUOTE]
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