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Childrens Questions = Trouble for difficult child parents
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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 603610" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>Yes. I agree. </p><p></p><p>I was about Kayla's age when I started doing it. For me, it was a good thing. It saved me from much of the drama, craziness, and misery my siblings have and still do go through because they've just begun the process. It saved me from taking a nose dive straight into major gfgdom. Don't get me wrong........I was a difficult child in my younger days about some things......but on some important issues I had a firm standard set in my mind from this process and I never wavered from it. My own children greatly benefited from the process as their lives were as vastly different (stable, normal and boring) from mine. </p><p></p><p>For my mother though, it didn't go so well. I had little respect for her from age 12-40 (when I began to accept her for the person she is, not who I'd like her to be) I respected her only due to what my grandmother taught me and it only went so far. We clashed, and we clashed often. Her opinions had no weight, no effect. I know for her it was miserable because she could not figure out why she could not control me, guilt me into behaving the way she felt I should behave. I was the only child that didn't act like <strong>her</strong> child, Know what I mean?? </p><p></p><p>This is a good sign for Kayla, yes. It means she is beginning to see the reality that is her parents and her home life. She may still go through some difficult child stuff as she works through old issues, I don't know because there is a large chunk of their lives I know next to nothing about. But it does increase the odds of not following in the foot steps of her parents. </p><p></p><p>This weekend we discussed college. While I didn't discourage her, I made sure she was informed about trade schools and the fact those jobs paid as well or better than college jobs and there was a greater demand for those skills. Kayla tells me she wants to be a dancer and an artist. I told her that is wonderful, but they have to eat too. I explained that those dreams are great to have and she should go for it, but to make certain first she has a marketable job skill to keep a roof over her head and food in her stomach while she goes after those dreams. Then I hugged her and told her they were called "starving artists" for a reason. lol </p><p></p><p>Kayla is obviously dyslexic. Nichole had her reading and writing much of the weekend while watching her do so. Since we all know Kayla will never make it to an evaluation for help in school.......Nichole has started giving her tips on things she did to cope and make it easier. Some things I taught her to do, other things she came up with on her own. </p><p></p><p>Katie and M are in for some rocky years ahead. <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/sigh.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":sigh:" title="sigh :sigh:" data-shortname=":sigh:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 603610, member: 84"] Yes. I agree. I was about Kayla's age when I started doing it. For me, it was a good thing. It saved me from much of the drama, craziness, and misery my siblings have and still do go through because they've just begun the process. It saved me from taking a nose dive straight into major gfgdom. Don't get me wrong........I was a difficult child in my younger days about some things......but on some important issues I had a firm standard set in my mind from this process and I never wavered from it. My own children greatly benefited from the process as their lives were as vastly different (stable, normal and boring) from mine. For my mother though, it didn't go so well. I had little respect for her from age 12-40 (when I began to accept her for the person she is, not who I'd like her to be) I respected her only due to what my grandmother taught me and it only went so far. We clashed, and we clashed often. Her opinions had no weight, no effect. I know for her it was miserable because she could not figure out why she could not control me, guilt me into behaving the way she felt I should behave. I was the only child that didn't act like [B]her[/B] child, Know what I mean?? This is a good sign for Kayla, yes. It means she is beginning to see the reality that is her parents and her home life. She may still go through some difficult child stuff as she works through old issues, I don't know because there is a large chunk of their lives I know next to nothing about. But it does increase the odds of not following in the foot steps of her parents. This weekend we discussed college. While I didn't discourage her, I made sure she was informed about trade schools and the fact those jobs paid as well or better than college jobs and there was a greater demand for those skills. Kayla tells me she wants to be a dancer and an artist. I told her that is wonderful, but they have to eat too. I explained that those dreams are great to have and she should go for it, but to make certain first she has a marketable job skill to keep a roof over her head and food in her stomach while she goes after those dreams. Then I hugged her and told her they were called "starving artists" for a reason. lol Kayla is obviously dyslexic. Nichole had her reading and writing much of the weekend while watching her do so. Since we all know Kayla will never make it to an evaluation for help in school.......Nichole has started giving her tips on things she did to cope and make it easier. Some things I taught her to do, other things she came up with on her own. Katie and M are in for some rocky years ahead. :sigh: [/QUOTE]
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