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Childrens Questions = Trouble for difficult child parents
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 603805" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Katie was going to have to face these questions at some point, in my opinion. This situation with the friend's mother has likely caused them to come earlier, but they are inevitable. If for no other reason than Katie sees how Aubrey and the boys live and she knows it isn't the way she does.</p><p></p><p>Nichole handled the questions beautifully. </p><p></p><p>As for Alex, well, my biggest issue with his latest object of fascination is Katie's reaction to it. While no one wants to acknowledge it, it is not that uncommon around people who are delayed and who have parents who do not work to set solid rules in place for this type of thing. </p><p></p><p>I hope and pray they have not been harmed by that woman. I am not 100% sure about Katie being at fault for letting her kids go to the sleepover when she did not have every bit of info on the parents. My folks did not have close relationships with all my friends, but I still went on sleepovers after my mom talked to the other girl's mom. Knowing parents is NOT as reliable as you might think. Sexual abuse is always hidden until such time as a new victim can be attaacked and manipulated to keep quiet. OFTEN the pedophile grooms the parents as well. It would be ASTONISHINGLY easy to groom Katie to the point where she would never believe anything happened even if she saw it. Some of that is genetic (Aspie traits), some the need for attention (Oh you poor thing, let me take Kayla and Alex for a few days to help you out!) and some is simply that I doubt she has very good radar for these kinds of creeps or the confidence to stand up to one of them unless it was blatant and she was afraid of what you would do/say about it or what her sisters would say. </p><p></p><p>She IS making progress though. It isn't as easy to see it from where you are, but from here? WOW! So many steps already taken to become a more responsible adult and parent. </p><p></p><p>This is just something to think about. Of course I am outside looking in, so if I am off base I am sorry. Some people are just unable to see the warning signs and some need to be taught more explicitly than others, just like other social skills.</p><p></p><p>We have an old neighbor who's daughter was abused this way by her father. He got arrested when the daughter's friend told her mom after a sleepover. Most of the community was shocked. While the family was nuts at home (the dad used to shoot at moles underground), and some of us got a very bad feeling around them, they were well respected in town. She was a nurse (lost license because she got charged too), the mom a retired nurse (also got charged), and I don't know what the dad did because I would not speak with him but he seemed very well respected around town. They had LOTS of kids spend the night with the family, and until a friend told her parents what was going on, no one would EVER have believed this. </p><p></p><p>So this is NOT totally Katie's fault. I am willing to spend good money betting her biomom never took the time to teach her to trust her instincts or the red flags that you or I might see. There are a LOT of people who are not careless with their children in ANY way who end up with a child who has been violated or exposed to sexual abuse due to not knowing the dark secrets of another family. Katie does need to learn to heed those warnings, but she is doing a lot better.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 603805, member: 1233"] Katie was going to have to face these questions at some point, in my opinion. This situation with the friend's mother has likely caused them to come earlier, but they are inevitable. If for no other reason than Katie sees how Aubrey and the boys live and she knows it isn't the way she does. Nichole handled the questions beautifully. As for Alex, well, my biggest issue with his latest object of fascination is Katie's reaction to it. While no one wants to acknowledge it, it is not that uncommon around people who are delayed and who have parents who do not work to set solid rules in place for this type of thing. I hope and pray they have not been harmed by that woman. I am not 100% sure about Katie being at fault for letting her kids go to the sleepover when she did not have every bit of info on the parents. My folks did not have close relationships with all my friends, but I still went on sleepovers after my mom talked to the other girl's mom. Knowing parents is NOT as reliable as you might think. Sexual abuse is always hidden until such time as a new victim can be attaacked and manipulated to keep quiet. OFTEN the pedophile grooms the parents as well. It would be ASTONISHINGLY easy to groom Katie to the point where she would never believe anything happened even if she saw it. Some of that is genetic (Aspie traits), some the need for attention (Oh you poor thing, let me take Kayla and Alex for a few days to help you out!) and some is simply that I doubt she has very good radar for these kinds of creeps or the confidence to stand up to one of them unless it was blatant and she was afraid of what you would do/say about it or what her sisters would say. She IS making progress though. It isn't as easy to see it from where you are, but from here? WOW! So many steps already taken to become a more responsible adult and parent. This is just something to think about. Of course I am outside looking in, so if I am off base I am sorry. Some people are just unable to see the warning signs and some need to be taught more explicitly than others, just like other social skills. We have an old neighbor who's daughter was abused this way by her father. He got arrested when the daughter's friend told her mom after a sleepover. Most of the community was shocked. While the family was nuts at home (the dad used to shoot at moles underground), and some of us got a very bad feeling around them, they were well respected in town. She was a nurse (lost license because she got charged too), the mom a retired nurse (also got charged), and I don't know what the dad did because I would not speak with him but he seemed very well respected around town. They had LOTS of kids spend the night with the family, and until a friend told her parents what was going on, no one would EVER have believed this. So this is NOT totally Katie's fault. I am willing to spend good money betting her biomom never took the time to teach her to trust her instincts or the red flags that you or I might see. There are a LOT of people who are not careless with their children in ANY way who end up with a child who has been violated or exposed to sexual abuse due to not knowing the dark secrets of another family. Katie does need to learn to heed those warnings, but she is doing a lot better. [/QUOTE]
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