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Chilling conversation with-Matt - breakthrough?
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 430735" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>WOW. This is very powerful. Stunning really. I am so sorry about the abuse. When you posted that he was so angry at the man with the cart my immediate thought was that some man who looked or sounded like him had abused him at some point. The fact that he opened up to you is incredible and shows how much deep down he truly trusts you. I know one of your fears when you put him into the rtcs and programs was the he would hate you forever, or never truly forgive you deep down. This trust means that he still feels very close to you.</p><p></p><p>Taking him to urgent care was an excellent call. I am glad such a wonderful man was on call and he spent so much time and put so much care into helping Matt. Is there any way to maybe arrange to have that man as a mentor for Matt, if other things about him are right? It might be a good relationship to foster. on the other hand, it might be that seeing him regularly would be too much too soon. You would know best on that.</p><p></p><p>I hope he is willing to go to therapy and work on this. Assure him that it doesn't have to be for the rest of his life. Now many therapists will put a goal to reach fairly soon, and they do not plan to have you seeing them for decades unless new problems come up. So this is somehting that will take time to work through but won't always be such a problem if he is willing to do the work. Getting my gfgbro to realize that psychiatric help does NOT have to be forever is one of the things that let him embrace the help he has gotten. It isn't enough, clearly, but it is a lot better than it would be otherwise. He thought that if you got into therapy then you were in it for life because they didn't really want anything other than your $$ week after week so they did things to mess you up more so you kept coming. So setting an end date for the therapy, no matter if it was weeks or months is the main thing that got him to talk to someone professional. I think this might also be true for Matt - knowing it isn't forever will make it easier to truly accept the help, Know what I mean??</p><p></p><p>My heart is saddened for his pain and rage, but thrilled to see that he is letting the poison out with his words about what happened and about what he is feeling. Even if he backs out on therapy for a while this was a HUGE step!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 430735, member: 1233"] WOW. This is very powerful. Stunning really. I am so sorry about the abuse. When you posted that he was so angry at the man with the cart my immediate thought was that some man who looked or sounded like him had abused him at some point. The fact that he opened up to you is incredible and shows how much deep down he truly trusts you. I know one of your fears when you put him into the rtcs and programs was the he would hate you forever, or never truly forgive you deep down. This trust means that he still feels very close to you. Taking him to urgent care was an excellent call. I am glad such a wonderful man was on call and he spent so much time and put so much care into helping Matt. Is there any way to maybe arrange to have that man as a mentor for Matt, if other things about him are right? It might be a good relationship to foster. on the other hand, it might be that seeing him regularly would be too much too soon. You would know best on that. I hope he is willing to go to therapy and work on this. Assure him that it doesn't have to be for the rest of his life. Now many therapists will put a goal to reach fairly soon, and they do not plan to have you seeing them for decades unless new problems come up. So this is somehting that will take time to work through but won't always be such a problem if he is willing to do the work. Getting my gfgbro to realize that psychiatric help does NOT have to be forever is one of the things that let him embrace the help he has gotten. It isn't enough, clearly, but it is a lot better than it would be otherwise. He thought that if you got into therapy then you were in it for life because they didn't really want anything other than your $$ week after week so they did things to mess you up more so you kept coming. So setting an end date for the therapy, no matter if it was weeks or months is the main thing that got him to talk to someone professional. I think this might also be true for Matt - knowing it isn't forever will make it easier to truly accept the help, Know what I mean?? My heart is saddened for his pain and rage, but thrilled to see that he is letting the poison out with his words about what happened and about what he is feeling. Even if he backs out on therapy for a while this was a HUGE step! [/QUOTE]
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