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General Parenting
Choosing which parent to live with.ing a descripti
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 99514" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I'm going to play Devil's Advocate. First of all, ODD is RARELY the main reason a child is defiant. It almost never stands by itself. This child has a terrible genetic history on the father's side and could very well have a lot more than ODD going on. Has she seen a Psychiatrist (with the MD?) A neuropsychologist? Is she on medication? Has she only tried therapy? </p><p>There is no way I could live with myself if I left any child in the hands of a man who takes drugs and is an alcoholic and a pathological liar. This child is only thirteen and is likely quite mentally ill and perhaps has been misdiagnosed and not given the proper medical treatment for her disorder (whatever it is--bipolar maybe?). Just a thought. The red flags are there on the father's side. At any rate, if she is actually dangerous, I would want to take her with and find a GOOD Residential Treatment Center (RTC) (yes, there are BAD ones) so that she can get a re-evaluation, the right medications, and help. I don't think she acts up because she thinks her dad is a saint (and I doubt that, in her heart, she thinks he is unless he is great at hiding what he does). Either way, this is a young teenager and she shouldn't be sacrificed, in my opinion, just because it's the easy way. She's not your child, but your wife may feel very guilty if something bad happens to her while in the custody of this untreated drug addict who likely has psychiatric problems of his own. Would you let your other stepkids live with him? If not, then in my opinion it's not fair to let HER live with him either. He is unsafe and there are other alternatives. I wish you luck in whatever you decide to do, but I'd try to get a new evaluation from a Psychiatrist (with the MD) before I did anything. A neuropsychologist exam along with the Psychiatrist would give everyone a really good picture of why the child acts like she does. It would likely be far more accurate than just a therapist's interpretation. JMO</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 99514, member: 1550"] I'm going to play Devil's Advocate. First of all, ODD is RARELY the main reason a child is defiant. It almost never stands by itself. This child has a terrible genetic history on the father's side and could very well have a lot more than ODD going on. Has she seen a Psychiatrist (with the MD?) A neuropsychologist? Is she on medication? Has she only tried therapy? There is no way I could live with myself if I left any child in the hands of a man who takes drugs and is an alcoholic and a pathological liar. This child is only thirteen and is likely quite mentally ill and perhaps has been misdiagnosed and not given the proper medical treatment for her disorder (whatever it is--bipolar maybe?). Just a thought. The red flags are there on the father's side. At any rate, if she is actually dangerous, I would want to take her with and find a GOOD Residential Treatment Center (RTC) (yes, there are BAD ones) so that she can get a re-evaluation, the right medications, and help. I don't think she acts up because she thinks her dad is a saint (and I doubt that, in her heart, she thinks he is unless he is great at hiding what he does). Either way, this is a young teenager and she shouldn't be sacrificed, in my opinion, just because it's the easy way. She's not your child, but your wife may feel very guilty if something bad happens to her while in the custody of this untreated drug addict who likely has psychiatric problems of his own. Would you let your other stepkids live with him? If not, then in my opinion it's not fair to let HER live with him either. He is unsafe and there are other alternatives. I wish you luck in whatever you decide to do, but I'd try to get a new evaluation from a Psychiatrist (with the MD) before I did anything. A neuropsychologist exam along with the Psychiatrist would give everyone a really good picture of why the child acts like she does. It would likely be far more accurate than just a therapist's interpretation. JMO [/QUOTE]
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