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Christmas burdened? Know why? Discussion.
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<blockquote data-quote="Marcie Mac" data-source="post: 108448" data-attributes="member: 47"><p>Star - Its very difficult for me to even open a pondering Xmas and should we cancel it or not post.</p><p></p><p>One Christmas I was warned if I didn't behave and bring home a good report card, I wouldn't be celebrating any Christmas festivities. True to form, I had an absolutely horrible report card and well qualified, due to my lack of impulse control, for a hugh bag of coal. </p><p></p><p>I know I was at least 11 or 12. I got to sit there while all of the family was opening presents, sitting there watching everybody opening with much delight the much wanted toys. No one in the family acknowledged I even sat there, although I overheard one of my aunts telling my mother that this was so not right to do. Towards the end of the evening, my mother threw the house keys at me and said my presents were down in the basement. I remember walking the few blocks to my house, down to the cellar, and finding a few little things that were not even wrapped. </p><p></p><p>Was there a lesson learned - absolutely. Out of all of my childhood christmas's, this is the only one that would forever be burned in my memory. The point was driven home with deadly accurracy that I would forever be different than everyone else in my family, that no matter how hard I would try, it would never count for anything. It was just one of many "lessons" that would reinforce my alienation from my family, my belief that I would never be "good enough" so screw it, why even try.</p><p></p><p>It was little solice that later in life I would learn that I had ADHD and suffered from learning disabilities on top of it. I remember having a good old sob fest after the results - it felt really freeing because I had taught myself to never cry over anything after that xmas.</p><p></p><p>I vowed to myself I would never ever ever make my kids feel that way because of behaviors that were not in their control - they would feel included and loved even if it was with underwear and socks on this holiday that is all about love and family - there would be no tainting of this one day out of the year due to my frustration on how they were behaving.</p><p></p><p>Marcie</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marcie Mac, post: 108448, member: 47"] Star - Its very difficult for me to even open a pondering Xmas and should we cancel it or not post. One Christmas I was warned if I didn't behave and bring home a good report card, I wouldn't be celebrating any Christmas festivities. True to form, I had an absolutely horrible report card and well qualified, due to my lack of impulse control, for a hugh bag of coal. I know I was at least 11 or 12. I got to sit there while all of the family was opening presents, sitting there watching everybody opening with much delight the much wanted toys. No one in the family acknowledged I even sat there, although I overheard one of my aunts telling my mother that this was so not right to do. Towards the end of the evening, my mother threw the house keys at me and said my presents were down in the basement. I remember walking the few blocks to my house, down to the cellar, and finding a few little things that were not even wrapped. Was there a lesson learned - absolutely. Out of all of my childhood christmas's, this is the only one that would forever be burned in my memory. The point was driven home with deadly accurracy that I would forever be different than everyone else in my family, that no matter how hard I would try, it would never count for anything. It was just one of many "lessons" that would reinforce my alienation from my family, my belief that I would never be "good enough" so screw it, why even try. It was little solice that later in life I would learn that I had ADHD and suffered from learning disabilities on top of it. I remember having a good old sob fest after the results - it felt really freeing because I had taught myself to never cry over anything after that xmas. I vowed to myself I would never ever ever make my kids feel that way because of behaviors that were not in their control - they would feel included and loved even if it was with underwear and socks on this holiday that is all about love and family - there would be no tainting of this one day out of the year due to my frustration on how they were behaving. Marcie [/QUOTE]
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