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Christmas Traditions
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<blockquote data-quote="Tiapet" data-source="post: 614785" data-attributes="member: 455"><p>I like reading this thread and the ones like it year to year. Help, yours was the very interesting!</p><p></p><p>Over the years most traditions have stayed, though altered due to changing family dynamics. I think it's been posted before but this is ours:</p><p></p><p>Used to be that we'd get our tree December 4th. It used to be a real tree for many years until 2009 when for financial reasons we switched to a fake tree (and have regretted it since but still haven't switched back yet). The reason behind this date is because in 1997 my grandfather died on December 3rd. That is a day before my oldest's birthday. It made for a really sad birthday for her that year as we all were very close to such a sweet, genuinely good person. Someone that has and always will be irreplaceable. We hoped it would change things going forward. It barely touched it that year even adding in the normal "pick your dinner, etc" stuff that comes with birthday's for the person. That being said, that is one tradition that pretty much has held as to when the tree gets done except for this year we are really behind on that.</p><p></p><p>The next one is Christmas Eve. Like so many of you (and this is so interesting that so many of us do this!) we give pajamas as the 1 gift the kids get to open. My mother was the one that used to do it but now I do it (since the whole family falling out and my moving away lots changed). We also usually went out to dinner Christmas Ever. Again, my parents used to be the ones who took us out. When my sister and I had our own families and the kids were young we all went. As troubled times started and families didn't get along (my ex and sister) my parents alternated year to year who they took. Now we do it on our own and in the last 2 years we've pretty much decided to get take out (Chinese seems to be the choice) and satisfy with that as choices of places being open narrowed down as did the difficult child's behaviors and desires. This year is seems they are in better behavior period and if we go out earlier we might actually be able to GO somewhere. I'm just not sure I'm up to it or want to. As time comes closer I will decide that.</p><p></p><p>Christmas day used to be the extended family got together and all had dinner together in late afternoon. No longer and again, it had to be rotated between my sister and I (who ever got Thanksgiving didn't get Christmas dinner but at least got a visit). I've had dinner for my family up until last year because as of then everyone's eating habits have changed. No one really wants to big dinner. We're just a small family now. Usually it was ham. I'm not sure this year what I'm going to do or have. I'm thinking maybe something really unique.</p><p></p><p>Oh, Christmas morning was always presents when they were little then breakfast. It's gone reverse as they have gotten older now. Breakfast then presents now. Most of the time it's Pancakes and sausage. Sometimes we through in hashbrowns. One year we did a batch of specialized french toast in the oven.</p><p></p><p>This year is so very different for me. So much has changed. My whole life it seems. My priorities have evolved in very strange ways as well. In some ways I feel very pressured to do things "before it's too late" and appreciate things I wouldn't normally in different ways and at the same time I also feel as though I'm "not going to stress over anything anymore". Weird place to be? I suppose but it's working and I think I'm actually finding a calmer place, a more peaceful place in life. Even with difficult child's stressing moments and there are and have been quite a few.</p><p></p><p>Like the other day I found out mr busy, again, used my cc to make a "donation" to his favorite private gaming site so that he could gain some items he wanted. It WAS a donation and he had been begging for a gift card to do so for his birthday last month but I declined. It was not cool but the upside of this was that HE took entire responsibility for his actions, contacted the owner of the website (a friend-adult) and asked him to refund the money back to my cc. He was told by owner that it would mean he'd be banned for LIFETIME from the website if he did so. It also showed that he had the fortitude to face the consequences/music on his own knowing he'd loose major respect from that community that he's been part of for a year and look really bad. Long story short. After doing all of that ON HIS OWN, I conversed with the owner (I had previously never interacted with anyone) and explained some things to him about my son and his diagnosis as well as what that community has done for him and what he's currently doing (ie: the type school he's in, goals etc). In HONEST parent conversation to what I believe was another parent who apparently GOT it! <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> My son is not banned but will not be monitored AND this owner is going to assist me in helping my son reach his goals in life (ie: make sure school comes first instead of gaming). He also has him being a beta tester for the games. I can't ask for anything more. It's a big accomplishment all the way around.</p><p></p><p>As for a long wished for Christmas gift, I don't really know. I've actually done a lot in my lifetime when I sit back and think about it. Maybe not as much as I wanted to do but enough compared to many others. I'm thankful for what I've got and done. I'm thankful from where I was in life to where I've gotten to now. Sure, there is always more to go in life and perhaps someday I will reach that point as well. Life is every learning and growing. Many years ago in a class I was in we needed to write an epitaph for our grave stone (how morbid right?) The only thing I wanted on mine, and still do, is "She earned the respect of all those whose lives she touched or knew her." Nothing more, nothing less.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tiapet, post: 614785, member: 455"] I like reading this thread and the ones like it year to year. Help, yours was the very interesting! Over the years most traditions have stayed, though altered due to changing family dynamics. I think it's been posted before but this is ours: Used to be that we'd get our tree December 4th. It used to be a real tree for many years until 2009 when for financial reasons we switched to a fake tree (and have regretted it since but still haven't switched back yet). The reason behind this date is because in 1997 my grandfather died on December 3rd. That is a day before my oldest's birthday. It made for a really sad birthday for her that year as we all were very close to such a sweet, genuinely good person. Someone that has and always will be irreplaceable. We hoped it would change things going forward. It barely touched it that year even adding in the normal "pick your dinner, etc" stuff that comes with birthday's for the person. That being said, that is one tradition that pretty much has held as to when the tree gets done except for this year we are really behind on that. The next one is Christmas Eve. Like so many of you (and this is so interesting that so many of us do this!) we give pajamas as the 1 gift the kids get to open. My mother was the one that used to do it but now I do it (since the whole family falling out and my moving away lots changed). We also usually went out to dinner Christmas Ever. Again, my parents used to be the ones who took us out. When my sister and I had our own families and the kids were young we all went. As troubled times started and families didn't get along (my ex and sister) my parents alternated year to year who they took. Now we do it on our own and in the last 2 years we've pretty much decided to get take out (Chinese seems to be the choice) and satisfy with that as choices of places being open narrowed down as did the difficult child's behaviors and desires. This year is seems they are in better behavior period and if we go out earlier we might actually be able to GO somewhere. I'm just not sure I'm up to it or want to. As time comes closer I will decide that. Christmas day used to be the extended family got together and all had dinner together in late afternoon. No longer and again, it had to be rotated between my sister and I (who ever got Thanksgiving didn't get Christmas dinner but at least got a visit). I've had dinner for my family up until last year because as of then everyone's eating habits have changed. No one really wants to big dinner. We're just a small family now. Usually it was ham. I'm not sure this year what I'm going to do or have. I'm thinking maybe something really unique. Oh, Christmas morning was always presents when they were little then breakfast. It's gone reverse as they have gotten older now. Breakfast then presents now. Most of the time it's Pancakes and sausage. Sometimes we through in hashbrowns. One year we did a batch of specialized french toast in the oven. This year is so very different for me. So much has changed. My whole life it seems. My priorities have evolved in very strange ways as well. In some ways I feel very pressured to do things "before it's too late" and appreciate things I wouldn't normally in different ways and at the same time I also feel as though I'm "not going to stress over anything anymore". Weird place to be? I suppose but it's working and I think I'm actually finding a calmer place, a more peaceful place in life. Even with difficult child's stressing moments and there are and have been quite a few. Like the other day I found out mr busy, again, used my cc to make a "donation" to his favorite private gaming site so that he could gain some items he wanted. It WAS a donation and he had been begging for a gift card to do so for his birthday last month but I declined. It was not cool but the upside of this was that HE took entire responsibility for his actions, contacted the owner of the website (a friend-adult) and asked him to refund the money back to my cc. He was told by owner that it would mean he'd be banned for LIFETIME from the website if he did so. It also showed that he had the fortitude to face the consequences/music on his own knowing he'd loose major respect from that community that he's been part of for a year and look really bad. Long story short. After doing all of that ON HIS OWN, I conversed with the owner (I had previously never interacted with anyone) and explained some things to him about my son and his diagnosis as well as what that community has done for him and what he's currently doing (ie: the type school he's in, goals etc). In HONEST parent conversation to what I believe was another parent who apparently GOT it! :) My son is not banned but will not be monitored AND this owner is going to assist me in helping my son reach his goals in life (ie: make sure school comes first instead of gaming). He also has him being a beta tester for the games. I can't ask for anything more. It's a big accomplishment all the way around. As for a long wished for Christmas gift, I don't really know. I've actually done a lot in my lifetime when I sit back and think about it. Maybe not as much as I wanted to do but enough compared to many others. I'm thankful for what I've got and done. I'm thankful from where I was in life to where I've gotten to now. Sure, there is always more to go in life and perhaps someday I will reach that point as well. Life is every learning and growing. Many years ago in a class I was in we needed to write an epitaph for our grave stone (how morbid right?) The only thing I wanted on mine, and still do, is "She earned the respect of all those whose lives she touched or knew her." Nothing more, nothing less. [/QUOTE]
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