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Chronological vs Developmental Age
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<blockquote data-quote="JJJ" data-source="post: 367082" data-attributes="member: 1169"><p>Eeyore is almost 15 years old. He is clearly a teenager physically (5'6", 110 lbs, lots of muscles, beginning of facial hair, deep voice, etc). Developmentally, he is much younger. </p><p></p><p>How do I get him to understand that it is not appropriate for him to play with much younger (7-8-9 year old) children??? It's fine when we are at my sister's because there are usually a dozen or so kids hanging out, mostly in that 8-10 year old range, so he gets to mix in with the group under the watchful eye of many moms who have known him for years and understand. </p><p></p><p>But when out in public, we get lots of strange looks when he starts to play with the little ones. He is big and goofy and clumsy. Today he ran off the bus and said he had a new friend from our neighborhood and he'd been asked to come and play. I let him go but insisted that when he got there, he have the mom call me. It turns out that his new 'friend' is 9. </p><p></p><p>Am I overreacting??? I just see this as such a problem waiting to happen. Due to his clumsiness, he could accidently hurt one of these small ones. While his temper rarely flares out of control anymore, I still remember how bad it was (although it has been almost a year since his last totally out of control rage). And, he is so easily led astray -- that he could -and has been- part of a group of kids that do something wrong and he takes the brunt of the blame because he 'looks' like he must be the ringleader due to his size/age even though he is following the 8 year old's lead. Then he gets upset because it isn't fair that the other parents blame him.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JJJ, post: 367082, member: 1169"] Eeyore is almost 15 years old. He is clearly a teenager physically (5'6", 110 lbs, lots of muscles, beginning of facial hair, deep voice, etc). Developmentally, he is much younger. How do I get him to understand that it is not appropriate for him to play with much younger (7-8-9 year old) children??? It's fine when we are at my sister's because there are usually a dozen or so kids hanging out, mostly in that 8-10 year old range, so he gets to mix in with the group under the watchful eye of many moms who have known him for years and understand. But when out in public, we get lots of strange looks when he starts to play with the little ones. He is big and goofy and clumsy. Today he ran off the bus and said he had a new friend from our neighborhood and he'd been asked to come and play. I let him go but insisted that when he got there, he have the mom call me. It turns out that his new 'friend' is 9. Am I overreacting??? I just see this as such a problem waiting to happen. Due to his clumsiness, he could accidently hurt one of these small ones. While his temper rarely flares out of control anymore, I still remember how bad it was (although it has been almost a year since his last totally out of control rage). And, he is so easily led astray -- that he could -and has been- part of a group of kids that do something wrong and he takes the brunt of the blame because he 'looks' like he must be the ringleader due to his size/age even though he is following the 8 year old's lead. Then he gets upset because it isn't fair that the other parents blame him. [/QUOTE]
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