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Parent Emeritus
Clearing the air
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 758808" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Dear Newstart</p><p></p><p></p><p>I am so sorry that it is more of the same. I endured something similar with my son last night. I was reduced to nothing. I melted down. I had no defenses either.</p><p></p><p>With my son he looks for support and favors from me, that involve staying in my home. I can never bear proximity to him. While he is not verbally agressive, he can be arrogant and entitled. He thinks ony of his own convenience and is without insight about how he affects me. </p><p></p><p>So I think I understand some of what you endure. </p><p></p><p>I think my own situation requires acceptance. Not of how my son acts. But acceptance of the reality of the situation and my powerlessness to change it. </p><p></p><p>I could have said no, don't come. I did not set adequate boundaries. This is a pattern that could have been anticipated. It's not my son's fault how he affects me. It's my responsibility for not setting necessary limits. I also am responsible for how I behave. I don't have to take it to heart to the extent I do. I could let it run off me, like water off a duck. I know my son loves me. And I love him. It's my responsibility to either learn how to not take this so much to heart, or to stay away. That's how I understand my own situation.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 758808, member: 18958"] Dear Newstart I am so sorry that it is more of the same. I endured something similar with my son last night. I was reduced to nothing. I melted down. I had no defenses either. With my son he looks for support and favors from me, that involve staying in my home. I can never bear proximity to him. While he is not verbally agressive, he can be arrogant and entitled. He thinks ony of his own convenience and is without insight about how he affects me. So I think I understand some of what you endure. I think my own situation requires acceptance. Not of how my son acts. But acceptance of the reality of the situation and my powerlessness to change it. I could have said no, don't come. I did not set adequate boundaries. This is a pattern that could have been anticipated. It's not my son's fault how he affects me. It's my responsibility for not setting necessary limits. I also am responsible for how I behave. I don't have to take it to heart to the extent I do. I could let it run off me, like water off a duck. I know my son loves me. And I love him. It's my responsibility to either learn how to not take this so much to heart, or to stay away. That's how I understand my own situation. [/QUOTE]
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